Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk
by nikki.ntm
Summary: AU. Saïx found safety in the contents of his cookie jar. It sugarcoated his imperfect world, but then he met Axel. Suddenly it wasn't as easy to hide behind comfort food and routine when all of his fears came knocking on his door, asking him to let them in.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk  
**Author:** nikki_ntm  
**Chapters:** 8  
**Beta reader:** Tamisin  
**Word count:** 36 565  
**Pairings:** Axel/Saïx  
**Warnings:** Mentions of racism and classicism, nothing explicit though.

**Other: **There's art and a FST (Fan SoundTrack) for this story at my LJ: chicasumi dot livejournal dot com

Written for the Kingdom Hearts Big Bang Challenge 2012

* * *

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter One  
**

* * *

There are three things in this world that scare Saïx silly; relationships, clowns, and changes.  
Because of his fears he was single, he never went to the fair at the square outside the castle (even though it was said that the best pastries in the world were sold there), and finally, he worked as a history teacher at Lumineux High.

Routine was his comfort, and the only thing allowed to change without notice was the frosting on the donuts in the teacher's lounge, which was why this day was turning into a bad one very quickly.

"I know that this comes as a surprise, but we need the money and we need the publicity," said principal Xemnas with a quick glance at the clock on the wall behind his employees.

Saïx wasn't the only one letting his displeasure show. His colleagues seemed every bit against this as he was, although for entirely different reasons.

"Sir," Professor Vexen began, "while I understand the need for money, I am also certain that there has to be another way for us to attain it. We can't stoop so low as to collaborate with Terne High for the Summer Festival. It would be an insult to our students and our faculty members."

"I agree," said Zexion with a nod.

Meet the former student and teacher. They had been like two peas in a pod, but as Zexion had grown older, he also became more independent in his research. He was now the youngest scientist to have become head chief of the Royal Science Committee of Radiant Garden, and that had caused a bit of friction in the relationship between the two.

"Unfortunately for the both of you, your opinion means nothing unless you have four million munny to spare for our school funding."

Xemnas shot them both a look that clearly told them that they had been overruled.

It was to be expected. Xemnas ruled this school with an iron grip. This wasn't the most prestigious school for nothing. Everyone who graduated from Lumineux High could expect a bright future with many open doors.

There were very few who had an opportunity like that, and it seemed like someone had been spreading that secret around. People were pissed.

"We're working with Terne High for this semester, and we'll show the citizens of Radiant Garden that everyone has a shot here, regardless of gender, race, and social status as long as they work hard for it. They'll be convinced that this contrived inequality they've concocted only exists in their minds. We'll get to their money, get paid by the King for our splendid work, and then we can resume business as usual."

"Great plan, Principal Xemnas," Zexion said with yet another nod, and earned foul glares from both Vexen and Saïx.

Zexion had checked out. He didn't have to care about any of this; he was here on part-time anyway. All he had to worry about was staying on Xemnas' good side, which he did on autopilot nowadays with small mishaps that he always managed to get out of.

"Saïx, you'll meet with their representative who'll be here tomorrow for lunch."

"What? Why me?"

"Because the representative is one of those – those tribal…" He pointed to his face and tried to gesticulate the tattoos that were traditional for the descendants of the ancient tribes to have, and tried not to fail at being politically correct at the same time.

"And you're a history teacher, so you should be able to deal with them without stepping on any toes."

"But, sir…"

"You're overruled! This meeting is over. You will all receive worksheets through the mail, where you'll also find out who your assigned working partner for this semester is." He gathered his coat and brief case, "Zexion, we have to leave."

"Absolutely. I could not agree more."

This was Lumineux High, a school for the elite, where la crème de la crème was educated into honorable citizens, and where science thrived in a perfect ambiance for intellectuals. And yet, there was nothing scientific or glamorous about the flick Zexion took to the back of his head when the principal of their prestigious school had had enough.

When Zexion and Xemnas had gone, and they stood outside Xemnas' office, Professor Vexen gave Saïx a pat on the back.

"For what it's worth, it could've been much worse."

Yes, it could have been, Saïx agreed as he watched professor Vexen walk down the wide corridor with a limp; Saïx wasn't the only one here who had been left with scars from the war between Radiant Garden and the tribes. The war had ended a little over ten years ago, but it was still fresh in the minds of the survivors. Saïx was no exception.

**~ooo~**

Home was his sanctuary. There was nothing he didn't like about it; he had even grown fond of his slightly crooked mailbox that made it impossible to see his house number from the road.

But today was a bad day, and when he saw the letter from his mother, he knew that the day would turn into one of those evenings when he would have to curl up in his worn armchair in the corner of his beloved garden, armed with his favorite book that had long since seen its best days.

"_Son, please talk to your father. I've forgiven him, why can't you?"_

She could've at least bothered to write a hello if she was going to use an entire arc of paper. Not that it mattered, it was going into the bin either way; just like all the other twenty letters he had received on the subject.

The annual family gathering was a few months away. Saïx's parents were divorced, but they had come to a point where they could be civil around each other, something that would have been thought impossible during the time of their split up.

Saïx's father was a retired soldier who had served in the Royal Army during the war against the tribes, but he had opposed it when he saw the atrocities that were done to them. To show his support to the tribes he had offered many fugitives help, but while he was playing the hero, his family fell apart. When things were at their worst, Saïx's mother found out that he had been cheating and that a child had come out of that relationship.

That child was referred to as Saïx's half-sister whenever Saïx's father decided to talk about her. Being reminded of her existence was enough to enrage Saïx because it made him think of all the time he had spent blaming himself for his father's unhappiness, all the fights he had to endure, and the hurt in his mother's eyes when she had found out.

Saïx's father wanted to introduce his lovechild to the family and make her a part of it because "she deserved to know her family" and because "he wasn't ashamed of her".

He could say whatever he wanted about his new family, Saïx had made the decision to never accept them as anything but as the people who ruined his childhood.

**~ooo~**

He ate when he was nervous, and not just anything either; it had to be blueberry and chocolate chip cookies. They were the most expensive kind of cookies around because blueberries were difficult to both find and grow so far away from the forests.

The good thing about routine was that he was rarely nervous, but now, only hours away from the meeting, he had to find the emergency cookie jar that was hidden in the cupboard at the teacher's lounge.

Saïx stood at the very tip of his toes, trying to reach the cookie jar that kept sliding further back on the shelf.

A man his age should have outgrown his sweet-tooth – _only women have such urges_, he could hear the nagging voice of his mother in the back of his head say. It was all her fault; if she hadn't used sweets for her Pavlovian conditioning, he wouldn't be like this.

He had been a bit on the hefty side as a child; it was difficult to keep in shape, growing up in a crumbling home where his mother insisted on giving him sweets to keep him happy. "Nothing can be bad with the world once you taste the sweetness of sugar," she would always say.

He had shed most of his weight running away from his bullies. Fear had always been a very strong driving force in his life, but he had to bring his A-game to the meeting today for the sake of their school. He hoped that the blueberry and chocolate chip cookies would stifle his fear long enough to make it through.

"Need help with that?"

The sudden sound of someone's voice had been enough to frighten him, but when he turned around and found himself staring into emerald-green eyes that stood out against a pale complexion with tattoos of tears underneath the man's eyes that looked as painted on as the paleness of his face, Saïx could only draw one conclusion; he was staring a clown dead in the eye.

"No!"

He scrambled up onto the counter behind him to flee, "Stay away, clown! Don't– no!"

The clown grabbed a hold of his arms and tried to talk to Saïx to calm him down, but Saïx couldn't even hear him chuckling over the beating of his heart.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

At some point the clown had gotten him the cookie jar, and Saïx mumbled a 'thank you' before hurrying out of the room.

It wasn't until he sat in the cleaning shed, clutching his cookie jar like it was his safety raft on a stormy sea, that it dawned on him that the clown could very well have been the representative from Terne High, and at that moment there weren't enough cookies in the world to make his anxiety go away.

**~ooo~**

Xemnas and Vexen stood on each side of the door, curiously peeking through the small window to catch a glimpse of the native.

Saïx was late, and Xemnas was seriously considering sending Vexen in there when Saïx decided to show up.

"Where have you been? You're ten minutes late."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't go in there."

"You weren't given a choice in the matter, Saïx."

"I might have called him a clown."

"What?"

Even Vexen turned his attention to Saïx, only he didn't look as flabbergasted as Xemnas.

"And I might have screamed a little, and tried to swat him away."

His confession was met by silence and an odd glare from Xemnas. No one would think of Saïx as one to lose his calm; he had never been pushed that far. So hearing him confess such a thing without having any background story to it was nothing short of weird.

"In Saïx's defense, sir, the representative does resemble a clown."

"A mime, maybe," Xemnas offered with a quick look through the window.

"Don't they wear black and white paint?"

"Sorry, how is this relevant right now?" Saïx interrupted.

"It's not." Xemnas moved away from the door and looked back at Saïx, "You're going in there and that's final."

"Sir, I called him a clown to his face. He could go to the newspapers with it and ruin this school."

"A little bit of truth has never hurt anybody. Go in there, apologize if you have to–"

"Tell him that you forgot to take your medication earlier," Vexen suggested. He had already pulled the door open and Xemnas grabbed Saïx by his arm, pulling him forward hard enough for Saïx to wobble into the meeting room.

For a split second, he found himself staring into those emerald green eyes again and all of his instincts screamed for him to run, but his legs seemed to be out of commission as he stood planted to the floor, fumbling for words. The representative took the opportunity to speak first.

"You're late," he said with a smile that might have been smug, but Saïx could only focus on keeping his arms tightly against his sides to fight the reflex of hitting the man in the face.

"I thought you were punctual at a school of this caliber."

"I am. I mean, we are. Usually, but…"

"But?"

It took Saïx a moment to realize where the representative could be going with his question. _We're usually punctual, but not when dealing with you savages_. He could already see the headlines of Radiant Garden's two major newspapers, and he could see the masses of people gathering outside the school gates to protest.

"But?" he repeated. He was sure digging himself a grave deep and wide enough to fit him and the entire school. "But nothing. No buts. I'm late because…I forgot my medications."

"Medications?"

"Allergies. Shall we?" Saïx motioned toward the table and nearly yelped when the representative took his hand in his and held it firmly.

"I'm Axel. What's your name?" he stressed the question and shook his hand.

"Saïx. Very nice to meet you." Saïx tried to pull his hand away, but Axel held on. "Would you kindly let go?"

"Were you forced into this, Saïx?" Axel asked calmly.

"Of course not." He managed to pull away. "I'm looking forward to this partnership between our schools. Diversity is important."

"Right. Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Absolutely not."

"Did you get that scar during the war?"

Saïx's face was stern, and for a moment he forgot that he was scared of this man.

"No," he said. "I ran into a small windmill."

Now there's a phrase he hadn't used in years. He rarely spoke of the reason behind his scar. It was nobody's business and generally, people had the courtesy to let him keep it that way.

"Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"So," Axel began as he sat down. "The Summer Festival. How are your kids feeling about it?"

"They don't know about it yet." Saïx eyed him. "It was my understanding that the case would be the same for your students."

"I might have let it slip, but they promised not to tell. They were already planning for the festival. I didn't want them to get their hopes up."

"Their reactions were negative?"

"Are you surprised? This school has never shown any interest in them before. Can't say I'm entirely happy about the situation, but we need the money."

"Were you sent here on your diplomatic skills?"

"Diplomacy? So this is a political game?"

"What difference does it make?"

Axel leaned forward, staring Saïx right in the eye. "You haven't given anyone a straight answer in your life, have you?"

"What I have or haven't done in my life is none of your business, nor is it relevant to this meeting, Mr. Representative. I suggest that–"

"It's Axel."

"Whatever. When this is over I'm sure our names will make very little difference to the other. We need to make an outline for the goals our students have to meet by doing this project for the Summer Festival. Do you have any suggestions, Mr. Representative?"

Anger worked as a great replacement for fear. Saïx was usually understanding of the attitude many natives had initially when they were approached by non-natives, but this man was at a meeting meant to promote cooperation and acceptance, and yet he chose to act all high and mighty.

Saïx's father had been an advocate of the natives' rights, and there had been a time where they had housed many fugitives during the war. But of course, this man knew nothing of it and was much more comfortable making judgmental assumptions.

By the end of the meeting, Saïx had nearly forgotten that this man had made him so nervous, he had almost eaten half a jar of blueberry and chocolate chip cookies. And while he still thought of him as a clown, it wasn't the kind of clown that scared him.

**~ooo~**

Even during the weekend, Saïx maintained a certain kind of routine. He would wake up at half past six and get dressed for his morning jog around the picturesque neighborhood that he lived in. If the guilt of pigging out the day before still lingered, he would run an extra lap regardless of his legs' protests.

He would take a shower, then dress in something plain and comfortable because after breakfast he would tend to his small garden, where the first buds had appeared on his plants.

A person his age would probably sleep in late to be energetic at night, when it was time to find a suitable mate for the evening, or for life if you were lucky, but going out usually required friends or at least people who were tolerable, and Saïx preferred to stay in the comforts of his own home rather than going all the way to the night districts where lots of bad things could happen.

That was not to say that Saïx had no friends. He had friends; they were just not of the same species.

At lunchtime, Saïx unlocked his front door and left it ajar to let the scent of his stew waft out and tell his friend that there was food ready for him.

In the background, he had soft music playing on the gramophone his mother had given him when he had decided to move out.

His living area wasn't that big. His house was a small entrance and a living room/dining room where his house parted in three different directions. Ahead was the kitchen, which was a relatively small room in comparison to the living room, but it had all the essentials.

To the left of the living room was the exit to his porch, and where he had his worn armchair surrounded by the plants he couldn't fit in his small garden.

To the right of the living room was his bedroom, which he wasn't quite happy with. He had a list of things on the refrigerator that he needed to buy for his bedroom to make it feel like a part of the house. He couldn't quite pinpoint what was missing. He thought it could have been the lack of plants, decorations, or books, but now he was certain that it was the wallpaper. His room was too white.

Saïx had just set the table when someone rang the doorbell and quickly followed up with a soft knock on the door that stood ajar.

"Hello? Sorry, I'm lost and I was wondering if you could tell me where I can find the house with the number 42B? I asked around and I've been told that it should be around here, but I can't seem to find it…"

The silly chuckle from the man on the other side of the door sounded far too familiar for Saïx's liking, and while Saïx generally liked being right, there were times he'd rather be wrong.

He pulled the door open and for the third time that week, he found himself looking into the emerald green eyes of the clown from school.

"Hey!" Axel greeted him with a big smile. "Your house is impossible to find. I've been walking around for at least an hour. All the other houses have the house number on their mailbox."

"What are you doing here, Mr. Representative?"

"Didn't you get the worksheets? We've been paired up for the reenacting of the end of the war." Axel looked back and noticed the crooked mailbox for the first time. "Don't you ever get your mail?"

Of course, who else would get paired up with the representative if not Saïx?

He stepped aside to let Axel in and tried not to roll his eyes. Sometimes, people went out of their way to get into trouble and feel alive, but in Saïx's case trouble came around and knocked on his door, ate his food, and promised him a semester of compulsive eating that he hadn't experienced since the age of twelve.


	2. Chapter 2

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter Two  
**

* * *

Axel had been told that he was somewhat of a masochist. If something promised him pain, he would be there in a flash. It was an exaggeration as far as he was concerned. He preferred to think of himself as helpful. If he saw someone in a pinch, he liked to help, even if he sometimes ended up hurt.

He worked as a bit of everything at the communal school in the south of Radiant Garden that was inhabited mostly by natives. Their part of town was worn down from years of negligence on the government's part, and Terne High was one of the many institutions that had suffered from it. The pay wasn't that good, but he got a chance to help the first generation of natives that were born within the walls of Radiant Garden to find their place after the war, or at least keep them out of trouble.

The school administration had sent out a leaflet about their plans to work together with the elitist Lumineux High, and there had been mixed reactions amongst the teachers. Some said that this was a great opportunity to show everyone that there was no need to spend a fortune on private schooling when their students were just as good as any other, but others said that this would only feed the students' inferiority complex while Lumineux High got away with their publicity stunt.

Axel knew that their school was in dire need of the funding the Royal Court was ready pay them if they took part in this cooperation, which was why he had accepted the role as the representative of the school.

He just wanted to help, even if it seemed like this would be one of those times he would end up getting hurt, but it didn't seem all that bad to get his feelings slightly bruised by the cold beauty he was currently dealing with.

According to the curriculum, the goal of this cooperation was to create acceptance and tolerance between the natives and the people from Radiant Garden.

It was an ambitious goal, maybe even unreachable, but at least it would make his kids more socially aware.

Axel hadn't been outside his turf in quite some time. There was no point in leaving his comfort zone for a world that didn't want him there, but he had forgotten how it felt to be singled out in a crowd; he had forgotten how self-aware he became when people glanced at him, thinking he wasn't looking.

Unfortunately, he let his frustration show during his first meeting with Saïx, and by the looks of it, Saïx was a man who relied very much on first impressions. Which was also why Axel was still referred to as "Mr. Representative" even though they had been seeing each other regularly for two weeks.

Axel wasn't going to hold it against him. Saïx seemed like he was a nice guy clad with a frosty exterior, he just had to tear that armored wall down to catch a glimpse of what he thought was within. It was a great challenge. Aside from keeping him busy and strangely stimulated, he would get insight into the mind of one of the strangest people he had ever met.

"We can't tell the story like this," Saïx sighed, and leaned back into the bluish armchair that had a lovely calming effect on him.

"It's how it happened."

"Look, I'm all for showing the people of Radiant Garden what spectacular jerks they were during the war, alright? But you have to understand that it will be highly counterproductive. No one will listen if they are blamed for everything that went wrong. Both sides were wrong to let the violence escalate to the point it got to, and that's what we have to get across without pointing with the entire arm."

"My kids won't accept being painted up as the bad guys."

"There are no bad guys! You have to stop thinking in black and white. Innocent people died on both sides; there were people mourning on both sides. The blame is on those who thought it was a good idea to start a war, not on the people left behind."

"So what's my name?" Axel leaned against the back of the chair he was sitting on the wrong way.

"What?"

"It's not 'Mr. Representative'."

"I don't call you that because you're a native."

"Why then?"

"Because you're a jerk."

"Hey, I helped you with that jar."

"But after you were a jerk."

"You were a jerk before that."

"I have my reasons."

Axel laughed at the pouty look on Saïx's usually stern face. It was safe to say that there was much more to him than what he had thought at first. He didn't think that he would learn much from this experience; he was set in his ways. He knew what to expect from his surroundings, but Saïx was nothing like the typical stereotype of the privileged Radiant Gardian.

His small indoor garden was one proof. He had plants there that were usually hard to find within the walls of Radiant Garden. Axel had found him here most of the times he had stopped by for their meetings. He looked at each plant, grooming them to make sure that they stayed healthy, all while he hummed to the music that came from gramophone in the living room.

A slobbering sound from the hallway caught Axel's attention and he stood up to identify the person who had decided to break in. This was why one should always lock the door and not leave it ajar like Saïx did. Luckily, he hadn't been home alone when this happened.

"Don't worry, it's Tim." Saïx said with a small smile and walked inside.

"Who's Tim?"

Nothing inside Saïx's house indicated that he lived with someone. Frankly, there was nothing about Saïx that indicated he would be able to share living space with anyone who threatened the order he had set in his home.

Axel crossed his arms and readied himself to meet this "Tim" that so easily coaxed a smile out of Saïx with his mere presence.

"Here, boy."

A black Labrador with a shiny coat walked up to Saïx, wagging his tail as Saïx petted him.

"This is Tim. He lives in the neighborhood. He stops by for lunch on weekends."

There was something immensely attractive about Saïx when he was happy. There was also no denying that he was a beautiful man, and that soft chuckle made Axel painfully aware that he might be a little too interested in his working partner.

**~ooo~**

Inside school grounds he was the boss. His carefree attitude and decisive manner earned him respect from the kids, and he was funny to boot. No one could dislike him once he cranked up his charms to their maximum.

He was the homeroom teacher of a class with forty students, class 9-3. It was difficult to give everyone the time they deserved, so he had chosen a different tactic; while he still encouraged his students to come to him for help, he had developed a mentor program with a pay-it-forward approach.

The class had chosen five students that they believed were mentor material, and those five students became mentor to three students each, that were in turn mentors to another three each. They were taught to view their classmates as family, and in a family, no one gets left behind.

It was Monday morning and Axel was walking down the long hallway to get to his homeroom. He had a folder with all of the plans he and Saïx had been discussing those past few weeks and he felt eager to present them to his class, even though he was sure that there were a couple ideas they would oppose.

"Axel!"

By the door sat three of his most enthusiastic students. They were impatient to hear about the things that were planned for the Summer Festival. Axel had been very secretive about his meetings, and he had asked his students to not ask about them until that day.

Once Roxas got up, Xion and Naminé followed to bombard Axel with questions about the Summer Festival. They were a half hour early to get the information first, because, as stated on the plaque at the entrance, 'knowledge is power'.

"Look at you guys. You don't even have your tie straightened out." Axel shook his head at Roxas as he reached for the keys to the classroom.

"What did they say? What did you say?" Roxas asked instead, ignoring how messy he looked in his sloppy uniform.

"Did they treat you well? Were they scared? Did they say anything mean?" Naminé joined in on the interrogation while Xion trailed after them with a yawn.

"You'll have to wait for the rest of the class to arrive before I say anything."

"Don't tell me that you surrendered to their demands. You promised that we wouldn't dance to their tune." Roxas sat down on his desk at the front by the window and put his notebook and pencil on his desk.

"That's exactly what you said," Naminé agreed with a nod.

"How about you, Xion? Aren't you curious?"

Xion wasn't very talkative around people she didn't know. She had been very keen to know more about the plans for the Summer Festival last week, but now she sat there with her gaze fixed on one of the many doodles decorating her desk. Like most of the kids there, she had a troublesome family life that many times stemmed from financial problems, unemployment and addictions.

"I guess," she replied with a shrug.

"Are we going to split up into groups? I want to be in the same group as Roxas and Xion."

Naminé was more of an extrovert. She could be shy, but she never let it get in the way of her quest to reach out to people as long as she had Roxas and Xion nearby. She wasn't descended from a native, unlike many others in Axel's class. Her family had been wealthy and well-known in Radiant Garden, but business during war was riskier than usual, and some mishaps had led to her family's financial demise. Their bankruptcy forced them to move from the central parts of Radiant Garden to these parts.

"Tell you what, if Xion turns her frown upside-down, I'll give you the scoop."

"Xion, c'mon, cheer up." Roxas turned around to look at Xion, who sat half-sprawled over her desk, resting her head against the wall.

"You can eat whatever you want from my lunch," Naminé offered.

"I'm not sad, I'm just tired."

"I'll let you win our next race during break."

"Let me? I always get to goal before you, Roxas."

"Do not!"

"Axel, they're fighting for no reason!" Naminé quickly turned to Axel to make sure that he intervened before the others arrived.

"We're not fighting!" both Roxas and Xion said in unison.

"Axel, they're yelling at me!"

"Settle down, now. You want the scoop or not?"

The three students turned their attention to the blackboard ahead when Axel reached for the stub of a chalk to draw a chart.

"Since we don't have many props to work with here on our school grounds, some of you will have to go to Lumineux High for practice and extracurricular activities that relate to the Summer Festival."

"What?" Xion sat upright and stared, wide-eyed.

"No one's gonna sign up for anything if we have to go there. Was this their idea?" Roxas did not look pleased with the news and sat back with his arms crossed.

"It's the best solution. We'll set up a play and they have lots of props that you can work with, and they have an actual stage that is similar to the one that will be used at the festival. Those who want to work with props and costumes will have access to the workshops at Lumineux High."

"Who'll let us in? I'm sure the guards will have a field day when we try to get near the school. I don't know, Axel, this sounds really weird. Why can't we just stay here? We've done fine before," Naminé said with growing worry.

"We'll set up a buddy system, kind of like the one we have here. The, um, the representative I've been talking to said that it would be preferable if each student received one 'buddy' that could show you around their school."

"You do know that they will bully us as soon as we set foot there, right? We don't need to see how good they have it. Why can't they come here and see how we make it work with what little we have, instead? Let's show them how spoiled they are."

"There is nothing shameful in asking for help. This is supposed to be a collaboration. What they don't have, we might have, and what we don't have, they might have. We're supposed to complete each other, but for this to work I need you to drop the judgmental thinking. Their school is not filled with walking and talking stereotypes, just like our school isn't. So, please, can I count on your support here? I'm sure the rest of the class will have an equally excited reaction and I need you on my side to convince them that this is good. It might open doors for all of you."

The collective sigh and frowning faces told him that he would have to work harder to sell this idea to his students if they wanted this collaboration to work.

As the rest of his students starting to pour in and ask question after question, Axel wondered if Saïx had as much trouble getting his class to understand as Axel had.

**~ooo~**

By the end of the day, he was tired of trying to hide from all the people bombarding him with questions regarding the collaboration with Lumineux High. It had all seemed so easy to explain and accept when he and Saïx had gone through the main points, but now all of it seemed wrong and people were unhappy with the set up.

Axel flopped down into his squeaky office chair and pulled himself closer to the desk he shared with three other teachers in the messiest and smallest office landscape anyone had ever laid eyes on.

He flipped through the file he had been carrying around all day that held notes from his meetings with Saïx and tried to see where it all had gone so wrong.

The jarring ring from the old red phone nearly had him jerking out of his chair. He reached for the receiver and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Terne High, this is Axel speaking."

"_Great. I have the questionnaires ready and done. I don't know how many you need, but you have a Xerox machine there, right? How do you want to deal with this? Will you come by and pick them up, or should I send them to you through the mail? I can have the mailman there tomorrow morning for you to give your students the questionnaire. If you could get them back to me by Friday, that would be great. There really isn't any time to–"_

"Saïx?" Axel quickly shook his head to wake himself up.

"_Yes."_

"Ugh, it all went to hell today."

"_How come? Did you go through each step?"_

"I went through each step, but so many people were pissed. I told you that we had to find neutral ground to do this. My kids don't want to go to your school and get their asses handed to them."

"_No one's going to get their ass handed to them."_

Axel knew that Saïx was fully capable of using language that was a bit on the crude side, but it amused him to hear Saïx repeat what he just had said in that serious fashion of his.

"_It's all going to be very civil, you can assure them of that. After you have assured them, give them the questionnaire so that I can pair them up with a mentor who has similar interests, and also with someone who'll be involved in the same activities."_

"Uh…we haven't gone through the applications yet. They have until next week to sign up, and then we look through it all, have auditions for those who sign up for theatre and music–"

"_You haven't even formed groups yet? How were you planning to be ready for the Summer Festival? You don't have auditions four months before due date! Are you mad? Were you not sent a memo?"_

"Calm down. We've never had issues with it before. When were you done with auditions?"

"_Two weeks ago. Our students sign up for the summer activities a month before the Winter Festival so that they know where they have been accepted before the winter holidays."_

Of course they did. They knew that they could afford doing the school festivals, it wasn't difficult for them to plan ahead. Maybe Roxas was right after all. Maybe he should convince Saïx to take his students to their school and show them how they got by with bare minimum.

"Can't we change the plans a bit? Make it so that my kids can spend fifty percent here and fifty percent there? It's not gonna work out the way it is now."

"_There is no time. I have submitted the plans to the principal and he thinks that we have done a good job so far. I just need these questionnaires filled to schedule the meet and greet event."_

"Saïx…it's not that easy." Axel moved the receiver away from his mouth to sigh loudly.

"_Don't you have a Xerox machine?"_

Axel grabbed the first sheet of paper that his hand came across and creased it in his tight grip. Maybe Saïx fit the stereotype a little bit. He lived in this delusional bubble where the world was a well-oiled machine, programmed to do nothing but work after whatever schedule he put up. There was no human factor. He didn't know what it meant to work at an institution that not only had no money, but was also understaffed with truckloads of kids to look out for.

"Can we talk about this face to face?"

"_About the Xerox machine?"_

"About the change of plans!"

"_Where?"_

"I can drop by your place. I have stuff to do in that part of town, anyway." Axel leaned back into his squeaky chair, feeling tired and beat.

"_I've been meaning to ask you something."_

"What?"

"_Do you have blueberry bushes by any chance?"_

"No?"

"_Alright. Um…see you later then."_

Axel hung up and reached for his coat while he stretched his arms out wide. This day was far from over and he was sure that tomorrow was going to be much like today.

He hurried down the empty hallways and out through the main entrance. He didn't think he would run into anyone. Everyone left as soon as they got the chance on a Monday.

"Axel!"

Axel quickly stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Xion jump off a sandbox that stood a bit from the entrance. She pulled on the strap on her shoulder bag and walked up to Axel with that same expression he had seen on her this morning.

"What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Shoot, I'm listening."

She looked down onto her feet and took a deep breath, "My dad wants me to transfer to another school."

"What? Why?"

Xion had gone through a rough time fitting in. She had quickly earned the reputation of being weird for not talking to anyone, and being a social outcast amongst outcasts hadn't done much for her self-esteem. She had skipped school and fallen behind on subjects before her problems were taken seriously. She was then transferred to Axel's class where she had been assigned a mentor, Naminé, who in turn was mentored by Roxas. The three had hit it off almost immediately. It would be a shame to see their friendship go to waste when it was all that kept Xion going.

"Did something happen?"

Xion shook her head.

"It's just…my dad wants me to have the best, and I guess that's good, but I don't know if I want to leave this school behind. And then you said that the other school, where the rich kids go, was going to take in people from our school, and I thought that maybe Roxas and Naminé could come with me? It wouldn't only make me happy and my dad pleased, but Roxas and Naminé could really show off what they know. Naminé is really good at drawing and that rich kid school has a great art program…"

"Xion, the buddy system they have going is only planned to last for this semester." Axel scratched the back of his neck and felt a twinge of guilt at the saddened look on Xion's face.

"It's a great opportunity for you if that's the school you're going to apply to," Axel began, trying to think of how to phrase his opinion without getting her hopes up. Even though the faculty members of Lumineux High were trying to show a better side of themselves, he still refused to believe that they would admit a girl with such close ties to the tribes and their old way of life.

"But I want to be with my friends. I don't want to leave them behind."

"You could always hang after school, right? They wouldn't turn their backs on you just for changing schools. This could really help you in the future, Xion."

"Would you go if you could?

It was a tricky question. He would have loved to have gone further in life, to have something to show for himself, but at the same time he liked being here with the people he had come to know and love, much like Xion did.

"I guess not. Tell you what," Axel reached into his pocket for a page in his notebook and a pencil. "You tell your father that I'd like to speak with him about this, he can decide time and place. Here, give him this note and tell him to get in contact with me. You have my phone hours, right?"

Xion smiled and took Axel's neatly folded message to put it in her bag.

"Yes, I have them."

"Alright. We'll crack this one together, so don't worry about it, okay? Just try to figure out what you want, and we'll make it work."

"Yes, sir," Xion said with a nod and a smile that made it seem a load had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Run back home now, and do your homework."

There was always something to remind him why kept working here, and today, Xion's relieved smile had been it.

**~ooo~**

Axel had almost gotten lost in Saïx's neighborhood again, and if it hadn't been for Saïx's crooked mailbox he probably would never have found it.

The door stood ajar for him when he got there and he could smell something heavenly from where he stood, and while he wondered if this was how Saïx lured people inside to befriend them, he couldn't help but acknowledge that Tim could go and suck it because Saïx had left the door open for him on a Monday evening.


	3. Chapter 3

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter Three  
**

* * *

Axel was like the first chocolate you took from the chocolate box. One 'Yes' was all it took before you're halfway through the chocolate box, and you don't stop until you feel sick from the realization that you gave in.

Saïx wasn't sure when Axel had become the comfort that he associated with chocolate. It was a sensation that had snuck up on him and fooled him into a false sense of security.

He didn't know how _this_ had come to be. They had met up for a quick meeting. Axel was going to drop off the questionnaires. That was it. But one thing had led to another and before he knew it he had agreed to a night out, despite his specific plans for Friday night.

They were far from his neighborhood. The buildings were decaying in this part of town, there was even less security here than in central Radiant Garden's night districts. This bar was surely highly illegal. It had been built in a day, straight onto the humid and non-tiled ground. It didn't even have a name.

He held his large glass of cold beer in his hands, his eyes darted left, right and center where he stood fidgeting by a high table, guarding the drinks of Axel and his friends.

"Are you bored?"

Axel walked back from the currently packed dance floor to the table with a sheepish smile on his face. It didn't take a mastermind to notice that Saïx was socially awkward, or maybe 'socially resistant' was a better name for it. He knew how to speak to people, but it was difficult for him to find people who made socializing worthwhile.

"No, I'm a bit worried that I won't have enough time to do a proper job with the questionnaires. You know how important it is for the students to find someone they can be around. Seeing the problems you've had with your students, I thought I would put extra effort into it."

"Jeez, stop thinking about work for a minute. When's the deadline?"

"Monday morning."

"According to?"

"Me."

Axel was clearly trying to hold back a laugh. He usually tried to stifle his amusement whenever Saïx did something that struck him as odd. Saïx was certain that it wasn't out of the kindness in Axel's heart that he tried to not make him feel uncomfortable; he had ulterior motives. Saïx had yet to call him by his name, and he would have by now if Axel hadn't made a game out of it. Now, he refused to say his name on principle alone. Axel probably hoped that he'd let it slip if he was kind enough.

"So you're not at all bored just standing there, staring at the walls that could come down any second, while clutching the only drink you've heard of?"

He was rendered speechless while he tried to come up with something in his defense that wouldn't prove Axel's point. Normally, he wouldn't care. In general opinion he was boring; a sheltered person who could only recite stories he had read about, but never experienced. He didn't want Axel to think of him as a boring person. He was lots of fun, he could be spontaneous and he never ran out of interesting trivia. He was downright delightful and he'd be damned if he failed to get that through to Axel.

"I'm people watching."

Axel nodded slowly and quickly glanced back to the dance floor to see his friends 'woo' and wave their arms around to the beat of the music.

The silence between them wasn't enduring, but it felt excruciatingly long, and the way Axel looked at his friends and then back to the table gave Saïx just the right amount of time to list all of the regrets going through Axel's mind at that moment. This was going to be yet another relationship he could file under: things that went to hell.

"You wanna get outta here?"

"What?" He sounded almost pitiful, but fortunately, he was given no time to feel ashamed for his moment of unnoticed weakness when Axel grabbed him by his wrist and dragged him outside.

They hurried through the alleyways to the main road and out of the slums. There were many small shops around here, Saïx noticed as he looked around once Axel had slowed down. It was a hideous neighborhood, but the people living there were at least trying to make the best of it.

"Do you live here?"

"No, I live about twenty minutes away in that direction." Axel pointed to his left.

Saïx would have asked if his neighborhood was just as bad as this one, but all of his thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he realized that Axel was still holding him by his wrist. For many, this was nothing, but Saïx wasn't quite used to any kind of casual physical touching that didn't serve a purpose, especially with people he had come to like.

They ended up at small café by the nearest tram station. It surely didn't look like much in daylight, but in the dim streetlights it looked cute. From inside they could hear the tingle from the bells hanging on the tramcars passing by, and once they got their orders they took a seat by a small, round table right outside the café.

The silence between them had barely lasted for a second when Saïx's thoughts started racing to find a suitable topic that wouldn't bore Axel. Maybe it would take longer for Axel to realize what an odd pair they would be if he managed to entertain him with mindless chatter, but his mind tangled itself in the word "pair" and ended up trying to explain to itself what it had meant by using that word.

"Can I say something?" Axel looked up from his coffee and managed to silence the bickering in Saïx's head.

"Sure."

"I've noticed that I make you uncomfortable when I seem to be laughing at you."

"What? No, it's not –"

"Let me finish. First, I just want to say that I really admire your work. Your dedication, your sense for planning, I admire all of it. Sometimes you surprise me with the things you say, and I've never been around someone who takes his job so seriously, so I don't know how to react. But know that I'm not making fun of you or anything of the sort…I just…wanted to get that out there."

"D-duly noted."

"With that said," Axel began and chuckled softly. "Are you aware that your slice of pie is drowning in custard?"

"It's how it was meant to be eaten," he cut up a small bite with his fork. "You want a bite?"

"No, thanks. I'm not much for sweets. You like sweets though, right? You were reaching for a cookie jar that time you freaked out on me."

"I wasn't freaking out," Saïx quickly replied. "How did you get the cookie jar down anyway? You're not taller than me."

"I climbed up on the counter. And you were freaking out. I got a bit scared myself. I really thought I had gone and done it this time by showing up on the wrong day and maybe being mistaken as a thief or some random troublemaker."

"I wasn't freaking out," Saïx repeated in a quite mumble, which he hoped Axel hadn't heard, to get the final say in the matter.

"You know what, I might want a slice of that pie anyway."

"Well, it might be too late to change your mind."

Axel laughed and Saïx didn't even try to fight the need to smile at his success.

Time had flown while they sat there outside the small café. They didn't start the long walk home until past midnight. It was a cloudy night and they could only glimpse a few stars in the night sky as they walked down the empty streets, sharing trivial stories with each other.

By the time they reached Saïx's house it was nearing dawn. His voice suddenly faltered when he realized that Axel had walked him home, and time slowed down to a ridiculous speed the closer they got to the door.

What a sight to behold, Saïx thought as they both stood by the door in silence like awkward teenagers after their first date, both unsure of what to say or do despite being two fully grown men going on thirty.

"We should do this again sometime," Axel said finally, looking away briefly.

"Do what?"

"Going out. Just the two of us."

Saïx nodded slowly, internally debating whether he should take a step back when Axel moved closer, but when he looked up from where he had fixated his attention and was caught in Axel's emerald-green eyes, his thoughts came to yet another abrupt halt.

"How upset would you be, on a scale from one to ten, if I kissed you right now?"

He moved in even closer, resting his forehead against Saïx's as he uttered the question in a shaky whisper. Saïx didn't waste any time speaking, he grabbed a fistful of Axel's shirt and closed the distance between them with a curious but cautious kiss.

Axel tasted like coffee. It was a bitter taste, nothing he thought he would associate with kissing or Axel, but it was strangely enticing.

"Are you sure you don't have a blueberry bush?" He asked, slightly out breath as he pulled back.

"I'm pretty sure," Axel said with a smile and leaned in for a soft kiss. "That apple pie tastes good on you."

"You don't like sweets," Saïx reminded him.

"I changed my mind," he stood back with a smile. "Leave the door open for me tomorrow?"

With a nod for an answer, Axel left, skipping down the road all the way to the corner where he turned around and waved before continuing on his merry way.

Saïx hadn't expected to feel this way. Ambivalence, much like too much consumption of chocolate, made him sick, and happiness shouldn't feel like the burden that settled in his chest once the magic moment was gone.

**~ooo~**

At five a.m. Saïx was sitting on the floor by his mahogany bookcase in his living room, behind stacks of photo albums in different sizes. He hadn't slept at all. He had been tossing and turning in the bedroom that he had turned into a hellhole after choosing completely wrong wallpaper.

His photo albums usually didn't see the light of day. The past was best left alone, aside from important historical events, of course. All pasts that were pitiful should be kept under lock, and no one could convince him of anything else when he saw his fat, past self stare into the camera that had eternalized so many things he disliked about himself.

Saïx reached into a cookie jar that was identical to the one he kept at school. His fingers grazed the bottom of the porcelain jar and he had to settle with the crumbs that stuck to his fingertips.

Axel said that he didn't have a blueberry bush. He didn't have a reason to lie. He didn't seem to know why Saïx asked, that should be proof enough. But he had a gnawing feeling that he should make sure before he did anything rash, like kissing Axel again.

For someone who didn't know, making a big deal of whether Axel had a blueberry bush or not was just another thing to add to the list of what made Saïx weird, but there was a reason behind him asking. Two reasons.

One, he wanted a blueberry bush for his garden.

Two (and this was his main reason), only a certain tribe had brought blueberry bushes with them to Radiant Garden. The blueberries were used in their rituals, medicine and food. The woman who his father had eloped with came from that tribe.

She was a shaman; the glue that kept her tribe together. An important person, some might say. His father would go out on hunts for blueberry bushes during the night, but they only grew in batches deep in the forests where mines had been hidden in the ground.

He didn't have to go. He didn't have to dispatch part of his squadron to find those plants, but he did. For her, he did many things that should have been enough evidence of his infidelity long before they were discovered.

Saïx had altered many of the pictures in his photo albums. He had cut out the woman from all the pictures she had been in. She had no place in his family photos. She had forced her way into their home and wrecked it with nothing but ill intent as far as he was concerned.

He remembered all that had been said back then. He remembered the crushed look in his mother's eyes in the days after his father announced that he was leaving and that he held no regrets because what he and that shaman had was true love, something he had never experienced with Saïx's mother.

As much as his mother annoyed him, he didn't want to cause her any hurt. Saïx didn't want to become his father, and the only way he knew how to keep that from happening was by avoiding doing everything his father had ever done.

Axel said that he didn't have a blueberry bush, so surely it meant that he was from another tribe. He wasn't falling for someone from the tribe that had ruined his family, but that didn't keep him from feeling guilty for the lingering joy he got from thinking back on last night.

He knew that he hid behind the hate he harbored against his father and his mistress and the resentment he had towards his mother for not putting a stop to it back then, but what hurt the most was the feeling he had kept since then.

He didn't feel like he deserved to be happy.

**~ooo~**

Tim's owner was an old lady in her seventies and she lived five houses away from Saïx. She had come by one day and asked Saïx if he could look after her dog while she and her husband went away on their third honeymoon together.

Saïx had accepted in a heartbeat and he had not regretted it once. Tim went with him on his jogging rounds in the morning, talked with his plants, and kept him company for breakfast and dinner. There was only one thing that Saïx hadn't counted on. Tim disliked being home alone and when Saïx had come home on that Monday afternoon, his house had been made a mess. Ironically, the biggest mess was in his bedroom. Tim didn't seem to like the wallpaper either.

To prevent such a thing from happening again, Saïx had received permission to bring Tim to school, which had increased his popularity amongst his students who all flocked around him to greet the adorable dog.

It was a Thursday afternoon and Saïx was sitting in his office, organizing everything that needed to be organized before the meet and greet on Monday. He had assigned each of his students someone to look after for that day. Some students still thought that this was a silly project, but no one was opposing it.

Many were aware of the issues and the protests that had taken place in Terne High regarding this project, and it was somewhat saddening to see that these children had to carry the guilt for something that had been caused by their grandparents.

"Professor?"

Saïx looked up from his papers and saw three of his students standing by the doorway. Sora was in the lead, followed by Riku and Hayner. Sora was a talkative boy who got a bit restless sitting in class all day. In order to channel his energy, he had signed up for various extracurricular activities in sports, and he represented Lumineux High in swimming, fencing and hot dog eating.

"Yes?"

Tim looked up at the three kids who had been playing with him these past three days and he wagged his tail to show his excitement at seeing them again.

"We were given permission to use the school's sports arena after hours for exercise, and we were wondering if we could bring Tim with us?"

"Explain why!" Hayner whispered behind him.

"We– we're trying to get more girls interested in, in the sportstical aspect of our school, because equality is important and that's what we're trying to achieve." Sora explained, scratching his head.

"Sportstical is not a word," Riku sighed.

"I don't see you taking the lead here, Riku."

"Sure, you can bring Tim with you. Have him back in two hours," Saïx managed to hold back a smile when Sora nodded enthusiastically and called on Tim.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Sora?"

"We'll be good to the kids from the other school. All of us will. We'll make sure of it."

"Yeah, anyone who starts anything will have their ass beaten to the ground!" Hayner said with a fist pump, but Riku pushed his fist down with a disapproving look.

"He's kidding, professor."

"Yeah, we'll make sure of it in a peaceful way," Sora smiled and shoved Hayner down toward the hall. "Later, professor!"

"How? You're gonna give them the stinky eye and move along? No, bullies understand one language and one language only. Nothing says stop like a fist to the face."

"You're about to get a fist to the face if you don't stop talking."

At least their hearts were in the right place, Saïx thought when their voices disappeared down the hallway.

He had barely turned his attention back to work when he heard someone come up to the doorway again.

"Was that Tim?" Axel asked as soon as he stepped inside.

"Yeah."

Not even a week had passed since that night, it was okay for him to feel giddy whenever Axel walked into the room. It was perfectly normal to feel like he shouldn't stand up in fear of having his knees fold underneath him when Axel leaned in for a kiss hello. He was sure he'd be called a girl if he ever admitted it out loud, but it wasn't only a girl's prerogative to feel foolish and flustered because of an infatuation.

"Not in school, silly." Saïx broke the kiss and was about to stand back when Axel ran his arms around him to keep him close.

"You leaned in to it."

"Well…yeah."

Since that night, Saïx had decided that having a crush that developed at the speed of love handles was just as comical as it was pathetic. He walked around feeling like a lump of mush, almost every trail of thought ended up in the same place, and every symptom caused by the love bug scared the living daylights out of him. It had never been easy for him to like someone, let alone fall head over heels without any kind of resistance, but Axel had made it embarrassingly easy and he had yet to find out how that had been possible.

Axel hadn't only come by for a cuddle, however. The students at Terne High had been given an assignment to indicate what level they were at in different areas such as reading, writing, comprehension and vocabulary. For that end, they needed study books and other source material which Axel was here to pick up.

Axel had yet to tell him how their reactions had been. They had probably been protests, but it was necessary and in their best interest so that the teachers at Lumineux High could form an education plan that spoke on their level.

At the entrance of the underground garner, Saïx took a trolley and pushed it through the maze of long bookcases, filled with books of all possible kinds.

"Wow, you sure have an abundance of books you don't use."

"The books are stored here for the students that need them for research. Our third-year students are given the choice to write an academic essay on whatever subject that interests them. It's a great way for many to start a career within the academic world, that's usually how they find sponsors to fund their future research."

"Yeah…that's great…" Axel trailed off and cleared his throat before he continued. "Saïx?"

"Mm?"

"There's a favor I've been meaning to ask you about. A kid of mine might get transferred to this school. Her parents want her to have a future and they seem to have the means to give her that. She's a bit apprehensive about leaving her friends behind, but if she gets a shot here, then she'll get a shot everywhere– and, well, I wanted to ask if you could pull some strings and have her in your class? She needs to be coaxed out of her shell; she's been through some rough times and you seem to have your kids straightened out…what do you say?"

He should have warned Axel that he was not to be counted on when it came to caring for people. Still, he decided to give Axel the help he was asking for, if only to see him smile.

Greed was a prominent trait in him; he would never admit that to anyone else. He hoped that he could hide it behind acts of kindness and through generosity, but Axel spoke to that side of him by showering him with the attention and love Saïx hadn't even known he'd missed.

Axel was a box of chocolate, and he wanted all of him for himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter Four  
**

* * *

It had been the small things that led him down the path of falling for the man who had referred to him as a clown. Saïx's charms weren't visible to everyone, especially not his friends. They saw nothing loveable about a man who seemingly only catered to his own needs.

But they weren't there to see the small things. They never saw him curled up in his armchair, reading a torn old book that froze him for moments at a time. They were never there to appreciate the strange way he held his teacup, always with two fingers through the ear of the teacup that was covered with prints of cupcakes and teddy bears that didn't really fit in with the rest of his service. They were never around when he'd suddenly chuckle quietly to himself as if he had just understood a joke, or maybe told one himself.

They would never know that because Saïx only showed those sides to a selected few.

Finding ways to make his cold exterior melt away was addictive. Axel didn't want to use the same trick twice, but as the days passed and their relationship slowly evolved, he discovered the fire-sure way of making it disappear altogether, even if it was for only a moment.

He would walk up close, and that was really all he needed to do. Saïx did the rest when he first tensed up, closing his eyes and waiting for Axel to close the short distance between them. Axel would let four, five seconds pass, but Saïx was impatient. He would pull Axel in close and kiss him first, and sometimes, when Axel didn't kiss him back right away, he'd let out the smallest of whimpers that dissolved Axel's will to tease.

Saïx would be the one to break the kiss, but he would always stay close and nuzzle him in a silent apology for not being able to let it go any further.

Axel had long decided that their relationship could take as much time as it wanted, he wasn't going anywhere. Besides, there was no way out of this anymore. A line had been crossed when he put the third batch of cupcakes in the oven, and he wasn't one to look back.

"No!" He threw a mitten cross the small kitchen to stop his roommate, Demyx, from taking a cupcake that he had left out to chill. "If you touch the cupcakes, Demyx, I swear I'll cut you where you stand."

"Cut me with what? The spatula?" Demyx reached for the cupcake he had set his sights on and sank his teeth into it.

"What's up with all the cupcakes?" Roxas stopped by the doorway and looked at the two trays with cupcakes with interest.

"What are you doing here?"

"I followed Demyx, he said that you had bought up the last of the flour for some reason. Are we having a bake sale?"

"Uh…"

Roxas wasn't someone you would want to lie to, not because he was a bit intimidating when he was angry, but as his homeroom teacher you earned most of the students' respect by being respected by Roxas. This was a kid who had been through his fair share of trouble. He was a nice kid deep down, but he wasn't a big fan of "the others" which included everyone who lived in the parts of Radiant Garden that were better off. He was already angry with the assignment they had been given on the order of the faculty at Lumineux High, and Axel was certain that Roxas was starting to feel like his teachers were starting to sell out. He might not respond well if he finds out that Axel had bought up the last of the flour in the neighborhood to bake for Saïx.

"I, uh…I was hungry…so I baked…"

"The hairdresser lady's kids are not going to be happy. You know that they buy the flour for pancakes on Sundays. Couldn't you wait 'til Tuesday?"

"For shame, Axel," Demyx added with a disappointed shake of his head as he reached for another cupcake.

"Don't touch the cupcakes! Or I will try to cut you with the spatula!" Axel turned to look into the oven and sighed.

He wasn't ashamed of what he had going on with Saïx, but he hadn't stopped to think about what consequences a relationship with him might entail. His biggest problem was his students and the we-against-them mentality, which they were trying to combat, but so far very little progress had been made.

The meet and greet last Monday had been the frostiest thing to happen in Radiant Garden since the last diplomatic meeting between the tribes and the generals. Axel had never seen his students so incredibly quiet. The other students who were on home field tried to start conversations, but even they gave up eventually. The only one who had discreetly enjoyed the sightseeing tour around school had been Xion. Axel counted that as a small victory.

Saïx hadn't been there to see it since he had to rush to the veterinary with Tim, who had come across copious amounts of chocolate somehow, and needed to have a gastric lavage.

"Shouldn't you be doing your assignment?"

Roxas frowned immediately. "It's a stupid assignment. It doesn't matter what I write, I'm just going to be random native number 105 at the play and get to work at the candy stand _if _I'm lucky. They just want us to do this so that they can make their stupid charts and show everyone in Radiant Garden how _stupid_ native kids are!"

"Hey!"

Roxas walked out of sight. Axel took a quick look into the oven and then turned to Demyx.

"Five minutes and you take them out. The timer will ring. Stop eating them."

He hurried after Roxas only to find him sitting in the small living room down the narrow hallway.

"Roxas. Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you. You're not stupid, alright? This assignment is not for judging your intelligence, it's so that they can figure out what you need help with."

"I don't want their help! We were doing fine without them and their tests and their condescending attitude." He turned his head, crossing his arms.

"Giving us 'buddies' to show us around the school," he mumbled. "They think that we'll get lost or something? You said that we were going to show them our way of doing this, but they're making all the rules. The Summer Festival is supposed to be fun."

Axel sighed and sat down on the low coffee table in front of Roxas.

"Are you having trouble finishing the assignment?"

"No."

"Roxas…"

"A little, okay! Why are we even supposed to know all of that stuff and why does it have to be so complicated? I don't care what the names of the generals were, or how _they_ were offended by what the natives did."

"Did you read all of it?" Axel got up and rummaged through a bag he had hanging from an empty shelf and found a copy of the book that he had given his students. "You need to know the names of those involved, you have to get inside their heads to understand why the war happened."

"It happened because they felt threatened and wanted our land."

"It's not that easy, Roxas. They got the population involved. They had to spread propaganda targeting the natives as something bad. No difference was made between the tribes. Normal people, like you and me, were led to believe that we were a threat to their way of life, and the leaders then succeeded in doing what made the war possible."

"What?"

"They dehumanized us. It's easier to kill a bug than a person, isn't it? When you start doing the same thing they did, you lose. Again." He paused when Roxas looked up at hearing that he was going to lose.

"The kids at Lumineux High, were they mean to you?"

"No."

"Did it seem like they wanted to start a fight?"

"…no."

"Did you know that they, too, had to read this book?"

"When?"

"I don't know. I just know that they have read it, and they've done the assignment, and they had to do a presentation. Imagine if you had to go out on the streets and convince the citizens that we did no wrong, that the generals at the time were wrong for putting us all in the same sack, and you had to debate against some knucklehead who was conveniently educated at Lumineux High. You're asked why General so and so did this and that. You'll be up there thinking 'who the hell is this so and so guy?', but this other dude will spew facts like it was his job. He'll tell them all the whys, the hows, the ifs, this and that, and by the end of it the citizens will be so confused by all his knowledge that they'll think 'wow, this guy knows his stuff while the other's just been up there stuttering general stuff that we've all heard before'. But if you have your facts straight, that other guy won't stand a chance. The second he starts to twist the facts to suit his propaganda, you'll step right in and call bullshit on the spot."

"You think so?" Roxas seemed to have lived through the imaginary debate, and he could see himself stand up there and call out someone on their mistakes and have the crowd side with him.

"I know so. Knowledge is power, but you have to know how to use it. You need to read, get to different sources, learn how to present your facts. The teacher behind this assignment knows his stuff. You should see the amount of books he's read through. He knows about things I hadn't even heard of. He wants you to be on the same level as his students, and he says that what you know has nothing to do with your intelligence. So get your head into it, and if you need help, come by on the extra help held tomorrow. I happen to know for a fact that Xion is going to be there."

"Shut up."

"Axel, at what point does brown become too brown?" Demyx asked from the kitchen, clearly leaning over to look in the oven.

"Damn it, Demyx."

Demyx laughed as Axel chased him out of the kitchen to see how burned his third batch was. It was his first time making these things and he wasn't sure how well he had done.

"What are the cupcakes for?" he heard Roxas ask Demyx in a mumble.

"I don't know. Ask him."

Axel hadn't thought of what the people he considered family would think of his new relationship. It hadn't even crossed his mind that it would affect them, but it did, and while their reactions hadn't been outright negative, they were far from positive.

**~ooo~**

The cupcakes were either too dry or tasted like egg. They were nothing like the pastries Saïx had offered him in the past, and to tell the truth, Axel didn't know how in the world Saïx was on his seventh cupcake and counting.

"So, um, how are you doing?"

"Huh?" Saïx paused, one half-eaten cupcake in one hand and at least two in his mouth.

The crumbs were everywhere; in his hair, on his shirt, on his lap, all over the table, and probably all over the floor as well, but not even Tim wanted to go near them.

"I'm fine," he said finally. "How are you?"

Axel stopped him from taking another sand-dry cupcake midair, "You don't have to eat them. I think I did them wrong or something and I don't want you to get sick."

"I'm telling you that I'm fine." Some of the dry crumbs in his mouth ended up on the table, and for the first time Axel saw Saïx blush.

"Go and spit that out. Please. It's really not good for you," Axel said and tried to hold back a laugh when Saïx sighed and pulled his hand back with annoyance.

"I'm going!" he said when he felt that Axel was about to say something and only ended up spilling more crumbs on the floor.

In a strange way, Axel was looking forward to what was coming next. He was much aware that he didn't really know Saïx. He had seen some of his habits, he had witnessed some of his personality traits, but he didn't know the story behind him. Such as the reasons why he would much rather pretend he's fine and force-feed himself disgusting cupcakes instead of turning to Axel and asking him for help.

He let at least twenty minutes pass before he got up to see where Saïx had gone off to. He found him sitting on a small stool in the bathroom, his head resting against the sink and hidden behind his arms.

"I shouldn't have let you in," he mumbled.

_In general, or…? _Axel didn't get to utter the question before Saïx sat up straight and looked up at Axel.

"My mom's coming over."

"Yeah?"

"It's been a while since I last saw her. I love my mom. She's…she did her best, but…" he smiled tiredly and shrugged. "Every time she comes to visit, I hear her in my head during a full day before she gets here, and at least another day when she's already left. 'Why aren't you married yet, Saïx? When will I get grandkids, Saïx? Your aunt has three already. Have you gotten pudgier, Saïx? It's too early to let yourself go, Saïx. I've baked you a treat, Saïx. One piece is enough, Saïx. You're not a woman.'"

"Pudgier?" Axel asked, shaking with withheld laughter at the sudden high-pitched voice coming from Saïx when he did an imitation of his mother.

Axel was pulled in closer by the gentle smile dressing Saïx's lips, but as Axel leaned in for a soft kiss, Saïx moved away with a chuckle and shook his head.

"Not when I taste like eggs!"

"But I taste like eggs too, so it doesn't matter."

"That's even worse."

"How is that worse?" he asked as he pulled a chuckling Saïx into a tight embrace, ready for what surely would be a baby-burp hug.

Saïx wasn't that good with intimacy. He seemed to be under the impression that it always had to lead somewhere – a hug couldn't just be a hug, just like a kiss could never just be a kiss.

It usually didn't take long for Saïx to get embarrassed. He would start with a soft clap on Axel's back before he would try to wriggle himself out of the hug.

This time was different.

Saïx held his arms around him loosely, resting his head against Axel's as his soft chuckle died out. His heart was beating fast, Axel could feel the steady beat of Saïx's heart through his chest even though Saïx seemed calm as he absentmindedly played with a kink on Axel's shirt.

"I can be here when your mother comes to visit," Axel said against the nape of Saïx's neck where he could smell the fruity scent of his shower gel.

"You want to meet my mother…?" His question ended in an abrupt up-swing when he swallowed the "already".

Axel's muffled laughter earned him a gentle attempt of a shove, but it was the mumble "Don't flatter yourself," that confirmed that Saïx had, at some point, thought of introducing him to his family, even if it was further down the line.

They weren't officially a couple. Axel hadn't labeled them yet, and he thought that Saïx would oppose the idea of being a boyfriend. Saïx might think that he could hide his reluctance to let someone near, but it showed in the small things. When Saïx let him stay close like this without feeling intimidated, Axel thought that maybe he had found a way to keep Saïx's cold exterior at bay.

**~ooo~**

On a normal day, Saïx was the most pedantic person Axel had ever come across. Everything in his home was in order; his books were sorted after genre and alphabetized after author, and he always had a schedule or an outline for most things. From the few glimpses Axel had caught, the only mess in the house was in Saïx's bedroom.

Today wasn't a normal day; Saïx's mother was expected any minute and her visit had made Saïx go berserk with all of the cleansing utensils he had in his possession.

The floor smelled like lemons, the furniture like oranges, and from the porch came the earthy scent of the newly watered plants.

Axel had thought that Saïx would be more nervous over the fact that he was about to introduce his almost-boyfriend, who was not only a man but a native at that, to his mother.

The doorbell rang and Axel's heart sank to his stomach; he was probably more nervous about this than he dared to admit.

There, at the doorway, stood an elegant lady with long, bluish hair in a braid, resting down her left shoulder.

Saïx was almost a carbon copy of his mother aside from two things that stood out; eye-color and height. Saïx's mother came up to Saïx's shoulder, but despite her small stature she had a certain air of power that surely stemmed from her social status.

She handed over the two carrier bags to Saïx who took a quick peek inside as he walked into the kitchen.

"Don't touch the sweets 'til after dinner, honey. I don't want you to spoil your appetite," she called after him as she walked up to Axel with a radiant smile and reached her hand out to greet him.

"You must be the man with no blueberry bushes."

"Also known as Axel."

"Oh, really? I thought you didn't have a name. Saïx has referred to you as the man with no blueberry bushes. Such an odd cookie, that son of mine. I'm Mariam. It's nice to meet you. Aside from the weird codename, Saïx has told me great things about you. It was a long time since he wrote me a letter on his own accord; you're clearly a good influence on him."

She didn't seem to be the nagging old lady Saïx had made her out to be. If anything, she seemed happy that Saïx finally had taken to communicate with her despite past conflicts.

"What is that smell?" She wrinkled on her nose as she took more of the odor in. "He's been exaggerating with the air fresheners. Just like his father."

She looked up at Axel with an amused look on her face. "He always did like lime fruits, and you resemble an orange more than a chocolate."

"What?"

"Saïx, honey, can we eat outside? I can't breathe in here."

Axel couldn't quite imagine the life the two had lived together, but he had an inkling that there was a stronger reason for Saïx to not want to be in much contact with his mother, aside from her nagging.

The proofs were nearly unnoticeable during dinner, but they were there. Every time Mariam mentioned Saïx's father, Saïx would glare at her and she would change the subject. She knew she shouldn't, but she kept on trying, and when she thought that Saïx wasn't paying attention, she would look at him with a hint of sadness in her eyes that would linger for moments afterwards.

Saïx's father was the thorn in their relationship, and Axel was curious to know why Saïx disliked him so much.

**~ooo~**

Mariam left soon after dinner. A few short and awkward moments aside, everything had gone smoothly and Axel hadn't even put his charms on.

"Why don't you get a dishwasher?" Axel asked as he put a plate onto the drying rack while Saïx dried off another plate with a light green rag.

"It would use up all the water I have for the plants in the garden."

Saïx had been quiet since his mother left. He didn't seem angry or annoyed, but his silence told Axel that maybe he needed some time alone to recharge his batteries, even though he wanted to stay and ask Saïx why his father was such a taboo subject with his mother, and if there was anything he could do to get his mind off it.

"I'm leaving. I might come by tomorrow after work." Axel stood waiting by the door for a minute in case Saïx decided to show up to say goodbye, but when he was met by silence, he decided it was best to just leave.

He was on his way out when Saïx grabbed a hold of his wrist and moved in closer, softly placing a kiss on his neck.

"Axel…" he took a small breath, trembling as he ran one arm around Axel's waist."Don't go yet."

It had been the small things that made Axel fall for this seemingly aloof man who thrived at the warm touch that so easily melted his cold exterior away, but he had never thought that something as small as hearing his own name would make him fall further down into the abyss of emotions that Saïx stirred within him.

He didn't leave that night, and the next morning, as the beams of sun found their way into Saïx's messy room, Axel decided that waking up next to Saïx was the best way to start the day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter Five  
**

* * *

Lieutenant General Xalbador Madhava was the name and title of Saïx's father. He was a man with countless of medals for his bravery, many loyal friends and was never afraid to speak his mind.

Fortunately, his was a face Saïx didn't have to see all too often, but as the date for the late-spring banquet at the castle approached, the old veterans got their yearly attention from the media.

On the front page of The Gardian was the stern face of Saïx's father, dressed in his uniform that he still took pride in despite its bloody history.

Saïx put the newspaper away and turned his attention to the envelope that had been left on his desk. It was transfer documentation by the looks of it. Opening it meant rummaging for necessary tests that needed to be sent, recommendation letters, looking at grades, and making a list of works that needed to be looked through and assessed.

He was going to accept the new student regardless of who it was, so he might as well leave it for later. There was no rush now.

He was happy, and happy people could afford to postpone boring things for later.

Half of the semester had gone by and what needed to be focused on was the Summer Festival, which was practically around the corner.

The shaky project had caught wind underneath its wings, and it was starting to look like the students from the two schools had found ways to look past their differences and make friends.

Saïx wasn't one to brag, but he was certain that his students had done most of the work to get the project on the road. They had been patient with the other students and dealt with conflicts that could have ended badly in impeccable ways.

A small group from his homeroom class was currently in the hobby room working with the props for the play. Not many of them were in the prop group, but they had promised their friends from Terne High that they would help with two special props since they couldn't be in today.

Professor Vexen stood by the doorway when Saïx got there and he quickly turned around as if he had been expecting him.

"You don't want to come in here," Vexen said.

"I have to."

Professor Vexen was normally an eccentric person, which was to be expected with a past like his. He had reached the top of his career finding biological weapons to use against the tribes. He had later decided to research about the consequences of his experiments out on the battlefield.

Something told Saïx that Professor Vexen hadn't been one to feel remorse. He was surely of the mentality that he had only been doing his job. On one of his expeditions, however, he had been abducted by natives.

He had been gone for five days. He never spoke of what he had seen or experienced. His limp was the only thing left as evidence of the incident that marked the end of his golden era.

"I'm warning you, Saïx."

Saïx pushed through with an annoyed look. He had to see what his students were doing. He was in charge of the play and he had to be the one to authorize all props used for historical accuracy.

"Hi, professor!" Hayner greeted as soon as he saw Saïx.

"How's everything coming along?"

Sora turned from the sculpture he, Riku and Kairi were working on, his face streaked with different colors.

"It's almost done. We have two left," he said with a grin and wiped his forehead with his arm, only to leave yet another long trail of paint across his face.

"What is it? You know that you have to pass this through me for permission."

"We thought it was okay. The others said that they always had these at their Summer Festival to celebrate the leading tribe." Riku stood up, holding a stapler and colorful fabric in his hands.

That alone should have been enough of a warning for Saïx. He knew what tribe was considered the leading one, he knew what that tribe considered important enough to have displayed at the Summer Festival, and yet it caught him completely off-guard when Kairi pushed the natural-sized sculpture depicting the image of the Shaman's guardians; bright red eyes standing out against a pale complexion that was partially hidden in tribal tattoos of different meanings, complete with wild frizzy hair in all the colors under the sun.

His legs gave him two options; run or fold, but he managed to simply take one step back and reach his hand out to rest onto the high table by the window to keep him on his feet. Saïx took a deep breath and once he managed to glance at his students he realized that he might not be doing too good of a job at hiding his fear for the depiction of one of his many childhood traumas.

"Are you okay, professor?"

"I'm fine. I was just…surprised by the…great work you've done. There must be a lot of research behind it."

"Not really. One of the kids over there brought a picture from home," Hayner said with a shrug.

"I see," Saïx had to look away from the monstrous sculpture for a second before he continued. "What part does it have in the play? The script doesn't focus much on guardians or the shaman."

"It's more like an Easter egg?" Sora offered. "We've heard great stories that are more up-close on the hierarchy of the tribe and we thought it would be cool to make it a little more personal. These things seem to mean a lot to them."

"Yeah, it's a great way to show them that we've gone the extra mile," Kairi added.

"And we might get some extra credit, right, professor?" Hayner tried a puppy-dog look that was usually the trademark for Sora, but Saïx was completely oblivious to it as he tried to ignore the sculpture.

"Sure…we'll work something out even if they aren't used."

He ignored the strange glances his students exchanged as he hurried out of the room and past Vexen.

Those guardians had no business in the Summer Festival. The shaman was only mentioned, she was a mere throw-away line for she had lived comfortably in Saïx's house while her people suffered the cruelty of the Royal Army. She didn't need to be represented by guardians whose faces still haunted Saïx after so many years.

The guardians were meant to protect the Shaman from evil energies that could taint her powers of purity that allowed her to use magic. Evil always knew where to hide, which was why it had to be taken by surprise.

On a stormy night many years ago, when Saïx was seven years old, the guardians burst into his home to secure it from evil forces that could harm the Shaman if she decided to stay there.

He was hauled out of bed to the hissing sound that would frighten the evil away. He was surrounded by persons that could have just as well been the monsters that hid underneath his bed and inside his closet, and as lightning struck and illuminated their painted faces, Saïx made the mistake of screaming, awakening anxious energy that the guardians perceived as threats. It didn't matter to them that the energies came from a petrified child, or that it could be caused by the tension between his parents and by his father's persistence in letting fugitives into their house at the expense of the privacy of his own family.

He had been exorcised from the evil that dwelled within him. Men with looks of monsters had sung magical chants, filling the air with colorful powders of different herbs while Saïx sat tied to a kitchen chair, wondering when the nightmare would end.

By the time he reached the corridor that led to his office, his heart was beating hard in his chest at the memory he thought he had hidden well behind layers of denial.

There was a certain kind of irony in the way his breath hitched in his throat when he saw Axel walk past the doorway of his office while reading a file. He hurried down the corridor, and with each step came small waves of warmth that crashed against the tightness in his chest, but it wasn't until he had his arms around Axel that he could breathe in relief and let the insistent memory go.

To think that it took one clown to replace another.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

He stood back to give Axel a quick peck hello, but he was caught in the way Axel looked at him. It was an intense, dreamy and strangely absent look that reflected an internal battle inside his mind, and it made Saïx feel naked and exposed in Axel's arms, which was great when they were somewhere more private, but the sound of the school's customary bell toll in the background reminded him of where they were and he broke the embrace with a nervous smile.

"What brings you here?"

"Uh, right, I came here for a reason…" Axel reached for the thin file he had put on the desk beside him. "I was at a meeting with the principal about my kid's transfer and we set a date for a formal visit. She'll hang out with your kids an entire day, learn the ropes. He said that he had sent some documents to you about her transfer?"

"Yes. They came in today. I haven't looked through them yet."

"I, I mean we, we were wondering what she needed to do to speed up the process?" Axel flipped through the papers in the file even though he knew that there was nothing in there that would contribute to their conversation, and he had to put it down as he laughed softly at his behavior. "You're making me act like some love thirsty teenager. Jeez. Look at me, I've been reduced to a blabbering mess!"

"You think I'm better off?" Saïx smiled sheepishly and looked away briefly.

"You're coherent at least."

"You could come with me back home when we're finished here…if you want…"

Axel stared at him wide-eyed and nodded quickly, walking up to Saïx for a kiss that wasn't meant to last long at all.

"I'd like that," he said and kissed him again, cupping his face gently in his hands. "But…how about we leave right now?"

"Now is even better," Saïx said with a soft chuckle caused by the sudden goose bumps that broke out on his skin at seeing Axel's grin before he leaned in for yet another kiss. "Let's go."

Saïx was leading them through the doorway when Axel stopped and pulled him back into the office with a gentle tug.

"I really need to know if there are any tests she needs to do."

Saïx hurried to his desk and ripped the envelope open to find a small bunch of nicely folded documents in different colors. He quickly found the yellow one where the tasks that needed completion were listed. He folded it once more, put it in his pocket and took Axel's hand in his before he led them out of the building and into the first tramcar to come their way.

Home had never seemed so far away.

**~ooo~**

Axel's rustling with the yellow document and his soft whispering as he read its contents was enough to wake Saïx from his light sleep.

The sun was setting outside and Axel was using the last of its rays to make sure he was getting what the document said. He frowned whenever he came across something he had to wrap his mind around or think back on, and mumbled quietly to himself.

There was nothing about that document that interested Saïx in the least. Work was the furthest thing from his mind where he lay next to Axel, studying his every feature in silence. He didn't think of it as a romantic gesture, although he would lie if he denied the fluttering sensation spreading throughout his body while he memorized every trait.

The gesture was more of a precautionary measure, it was an instinct that had stuck with him since little. People could say a lot of things that they didn't mean or they would get lost in their own words, but there was always something in their expression that would give them away. Learning how to read a person's face was a mean of communication when he wasn't meant to listen what people were saying, but understand what they meant.

The method wasn't free of faults, but it was a habit, and habits were difficult to break.

"What are you doing?" Saïx's voice was husky with exhaustion and his body felt heavy when he inched closer to Axel.

"Reading through the list. I didn't know History was such an important subject at your school."

"War," Saïx reminded him in a mumble.

"Do all applicants get a list like this? There're at least ten tests here."

"Is there one marked with a star?"

"Uh…yeah, there's one."

"If your student scores 95% or higher, she doesn't have to do the other three tests in my subject."

"And the others?"

"Obligatory. Aim for grades above average, if she scores low and gets accepted, she'll have to do an extra year."

"Even if she clears her first year with us?"

"Yes."

"You do this a lot?" Axel pushed himself up to sit against the headboard and to be able to look at Saïx while they talked.

His heart sank, and for a split second Saïx thought that Axel was asking him if he usually brought people home like this. It was a stupid thought, laughable even, he managed to swat it away and he just hoped that his stupidity hadn't shown.

"Do what?" He asked with a sigh, brushing his long hair back as he sat up.

"Administrative work, silly. What did you think I was asking about?" Axel laughed at the awkward expression on Saïx's face. "You just dive right into the gutter, huh?"

"You're making incorrect assumptions."

"Am I? So you're currently blushing like a bride because…?"

"I'm not blushing, it's warm in here."

"Yeah, it is."

The suggestive gleam in Axel's eyes as he moved in closer was both frightening and exciting. No one had ever consistently looked at him like that before. Sure, he had had his fair share of suitors in his life, but both times had felt so wrong; forced and awkward. Axel's proximity had him trembling with anticipation, having him near felt good, and it was foreign feeling.

"H-how were you going to have the test?" Saïx asked to break the moment.

"What test?"

"The history test."

"Are you changing the subject?"

"We weren't talking. Besides, it's important and you've been so dedicated to get this right. It would be a shame if you missed an important detail."

"I have it all planned out. I'll get in contact with the Department of Education, have them send me the test, put a date on it, get the test done, revise it and send you the results. Piece of cake."

"You need a certified teacher."

"What?"

"To revise the test. You're not…certified."

Sometimes he forgot that certain reminders could hurt. When he spoke with his colleagues he didn't care for how harshly he presented his facts as long as he was civil about it. He had been spoiled by never having to take someone else's feelings into account, but the slight falter in Axel's confidence at the reminder of what little regard "real" institutions of education had for his knowledge left Saïx cold with guilt.

"Right. That slipped my mind." Axel sat up-right and ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated by the leak of the real world into the perfect bubble they had created here in Saïx's messy bedroom. "Are the other three tests difficult? Considering that there are at least five other subjects that need intense study time, I mean."

"They are a bit more focused on different eras, which might require an eye for detail. That's not to say that the other one is easy, but it has more leeway for error. It's got three essay questions while the others are more about hard facts from certain textbooks," he paused at Axel's shake of his head in disbelief. "There are other schools she could try out for, it doesn't have to be Lumineux High, does it?"

"It has to be Lumineux High. If one of my kids could get into that school, it would set an example for the rest. They'd know that there's at least a snowball's chance in hell to make something out of themselves, but by the looks of it they're screwed anyways because we can't afford to get a certification for the teachers in our staff."

"I could revise it," Saïx found himself saying all the while his mind flashed him scenarios of the faculty members' protests when they somehow found out that he was behind the acceptance of a native from Radiant Garden's most infamous school.

"What? Really?"

"But you'll have to plan it all. I'm swamped as it is. I trust you to make sure that there's no cheating. When you're done with the test, put it in the enclosed envelope and have it delivered to me. I'll revise it and give you the results."

He was greedy. Once he had realized that he could be the source of joy, the reason behind Axel's beaming smiles, he found himself attempting stupid things just to see it. This was by far the most stupid thing he had done for a smile, but as Axel pulled him in close for a kiss that dissolved into countless butterfly kisses over his face and down his neckline, he figured that it was well worth it.

When darkness had fallen and they lay in the dim light of the desk lamp on the nightstand, Saïx made a discovery while he fought sleep that had already overcome Axel; Axel's hair was the first thing to ever match his wallpaper.

**~ooo~**

Radiant Garden had its charms regardless of the season, but there was something special about it in late spring when most plants had sprouted. The tree crowns were different shades of green and the flower beds framing Lumineux High brought life to the already magnificent main building that stood behind the golden gates.

The Summer Festival was approximately two months away and according to Vexen's reports, all groups were on schedule. While the students from Terne High had had some trouble keeping up with the theoretical part, they had come through when it mattered, which mean that no one had been excluded from the festivities. Yet.

"Attention!"

"Sir!"

Saïx saw a group of at least forty students stare at Xigbar intently from where they stood in parallel lines. He assumed that there were students from Terne High mixed in the group, but it was hard to tell from the gates.

Xigbar was a retired soldier who had served in the same squadron as Saïx's father and he was now a P.E. teacher, instilling fear in the students for many years. The war had left many scars on him, but he wore them with pride and had never once been caught ashamed of them.

"Let me tell you a story…"

Saïx held back a smile when Xigbar put the megaphone down for dramatic effect. It was probably a story they all had heard before; a story about how they needed to shape up in one form or another because they had never walked through dense jungle with danger lurking under every rock.

"Out there, behind those walls, past snake-filled rivers and murderous plants, there's a savannah. A hunting ground. When the sun peaks from the horizon a gazelle wakes up and it knows that in order to survive it has to be faster than the lion lurking in the high grass, waiting to bite into it. The lion knows that in order to eat, it has to run faster than the slowest gazelle. We have any lions here?"

"Yes, sir!" some students said in reply.

"And gazelles? We have any gazelles here?"

A handful of students raised their hands timidly and Xigbar pretended to count them all and make a mental note of it.

"Hayner!"

"Yes, sir?"

"What's the moral of my story, and speak up now, we don't want anyone to miss the point."

"The moral of the story is that you couldn't care less if we we're one-legged ducklings, when the sun comes up we better be running, sir!"

"You heard the duck! Start running, c'mon now! What are you waiting for, the red carpet to be rolled out? Five lapses around campus, shame on your cow if it takes longer than four minutes! Chop, chop!"

He wasn't a conventional teacher, but he got the work done. Tiring the students out before their theoretical classes was an ingenious plan, and the teachers were grateful for it. This school wouldn't be half of what it was if it wasn't for Xigbar's well executed program.

"Saïx!" Vexen stood by the entrance, arms crossed. "Don't stand there daydreaming. Xemnas is waiting."

Xemnas had summoned him for a brief meeting an hour before his first class on the only day in the month when he got to sleep in. He couldn't even begin to guess what the meeting would be about. The Summer Festival project was going smoothly, the students had done better than expected on their mid-term exams, which had raised the average score for the first time in two years, and he had made sure to send Xemnas a weekly report about the proceedings to keep him informed. There was nothing he could complain about.

Unless it was about the transferring student from Terne High whose name Saïx hadn't even bothered to learn.

"What are you sighing about?" Vexen eyed him from the corner of his eye as they walked down the spacious corridors toward Xemnas' office.

"Do you know what the meeting is about?"

"Yes, I do."

"Am I in trouble?"

"You're in trouble?" Zexion hurried up after them and seemed far too amused by the thought of Saïx being in trouble.

"I was asking if I was in trouble. Xemnas summoned me for a meeting."

"Ah, yes, the meeting," Zexion said with a nod.

"Don't say anything, Zexion. You'll ruin the surprise," Vexen admonished.

"You're being rewarded for being so good at pushing paper around."

"What? Rewarded? With a pay raise?"

"Zexion! You're ruining the surprise!"

"He still as clueless as before I got here," Zexion rolled his eyes at his old mentor.

They got to Xemnas' office without anyone revealing anything else. They took a seat, very much like they had done at the beginning of the semester when Xemnas had told them of his plan to collaborate with Terne High for the Summer Festival. It had been bad news at the time, but all things considered, it had turned out into a positive life-changing event.

It was nerve-racking.

Saïx wasn't prepared for anything life-changing right now. He wouldn't be ready for something like that for at least another five years, but each detail that he uncovered in the room made him more nervous. Xemnas' secretary had put forward a plate with blueberry and chocolate chip cookies, and three cups of rhubarb and vanilla tea.

"Just tell me what's going on," Saïx said to Zexion, but Zexion was given no time to answer.

When they heard the door open behind them, they all rose to their feet, bowing their head slightly when Xemnas stepped in, and they didn't sit until Xemnas gave his say-so.

"Please, gentlemen, help yourselves." He gestured toward the cookies before he reached for an envelope at the top of his inbox.

Saïx was the first one to reach for a cookie and bite into it, and it took all of his self-control to not take bites large enough to finish the cookie in three bites.

"As we all know, Zexion has been busy with his work at the Royal Science Committee. He has decided to take some time to teach a small group of apprentices as there is a shortage of skilled researchers in his field. What was your field?"

"Particle physics."

"Which, in short, means that I'm need of a vice principal," Xemnas fixated his gaze onto Saïx who reached for yet another cookie while he held a half-eaten one in his other. "Saïx?"

"Mm?"

"You've been doing exceptional work, especially this semester. Would you like to step up as the vice principal?"

Vice principal. It meant slightly more paperwork than he had now, it meant getting an invitation to three out of the four most important banquets held at the castle. He would get to meet the King, mingle with the court, and he would become a board member of the school and make important decisions.

"As a substitute?"

"The contract is for two years. If we decide to extend it, the contract will be for four years. Zexion will still be affiliated with our school, but I need someone permanent. The contract will be sent to you ahead of the official meeting held a week from now, if you say yes, of course. Do you accept my offer?"

"Yeah. Sure…I mean, yes. Yes, I do accept your offer."

What a wrong time to be channeling Axel's casual way of accepting heavy burdens.

"Aren't you happy?" Zexion leaned forward in his chair to catch a glimpse of Saïx's dead-pan face.

"Of course I'm happy."

"Someone ought to tell that to your face. There wasn't even a twitch at the corners of your mouth."

Fear and anxiety were feelings much stronger than happiness, he had found. Happiness was fleeting, a small break for air between the violent waves on the ocean of emotions. It wasn't something to hold onto. He was cautious around happiness, and maybe even a little slow to understand it when it happened.

Soon after the meeting, Xemnas ushered them out. This wasn't his only meeting for the day, and it wasn't his most important one either judging by the amount of paper that Xemnas' assistant brought in with her when Saïx, Vexen and Zexion left.

Vice principal Saïx, it had a nice ring to it, he concluded as he walked down the corridor back to the main entrance to get to his office. Zexion had hurried back to the castle and Vexen had gone to his homeroom to prepare for class.

Saïx didn't pay attention to the chattering he heard from down the hall, not until he realized that it was Axel's voice he was hearing amongst them, and he could feel himself light up with joy. The news he had received made him completely forget why Axel would be here so early, but then he recognized the other man; the stern laughter, the rigid way of walking, and the disappointment that replaced the almost relaxed look he had had in his eyes until he noticed Saïx.

Between them stood a girl with pitch-black hair, fair skin and dark eyes, holding onto her father's arm lightly as they walked down the corridor to where her future was; to a place of possibilities that her father was offering her in a way he had never offered his first-born son.

"Good morning, professor," Axel greeted Saïx with a wink. "I'm glad we ran into you here, let me introduce you to the student I've been telling you about; this here is Xion. Bright kid. And this is her father, Xalbador Madhava. He did a lot of good during the war. I'm sure you two will have lots to talk about."

Most people smiled when they were happy, but Saïx always found it easier to smile when he was crushed like the shells of a macaroon under the pressure of an edacious mouth.

The polite greeting from Xion and the constipated look on his father's face told Saïx that this child had no idea of who he was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter Six  
**

* * *

Sweets were a curious addiction. Axel had never been one to actively enjoy things like cake or different types of pastries. He ate the occasional ice cream on a hot summer day, and there were days when he was hungry enough to grab an old and dry cinnamon bun from the teacher's lounge, but lately he had gone to great lengths to learn about the art of baking.

He read books, experimented in the kitchen with ingredients he couldn't really afford, and even asked the elderly ladies in his neighborhood for recipes, all of it to see Saïx's eyes reflect a mixture of relief and happiness when Axel arrived with a recipe he hadn't tried before.

There was one recipe that he had wanted to try from the very beginning of his culinary journey; blueberry and chocolate chip cookies. They were Saïx's favorite, but blueberries were difficult to come by, and with Axel's salary and his growing debt to Demyx, he couldn't afford to buy them either.

"I'm not pulling too hard, am I?" Saïx held the comb in the air and peeked from behind Axel's partly tamed hair.

"Can barely feel it," Axel said with a smile that quickly faltered when Saïx tried to comb through the hair at the top of his neck.

Saïx was readying him for the banquet tomorrow night held in honor of Lumineux High's achievements this year and to welcome their new vice principal. Saïx had wanted to get Axel a new suit for the occasion, but once Axel saw the price tags on the suits in the first shop they walked into, he had decided that he could just as well use one of Saïx's old ones.

They ended up in the first shop of suits anyway. Saïx's tailor worked there, and it was apparently very important that the suit fit Axel like a glove for the banquet.

"It's a bit weird that the Royal Court is holding a banquet the day after the veterans' banquet. Doesn't that cut into their annual attention quota?" Axel asked.

"There will be veterans and high-ups from all the branches of the military department attending."

"At an event like that?"

"They can't miss their chance to show support for Radiant Garden's educational system. It's also an opportunity for our honorary students to mingle with their future sponsors and employers."

"And they're okay with my presence?"

"Probably not."

"So you're taking me with you to stir the pot?"

"No. They're celebrating our achievements; our collaboration is one of the biggest achievements, and as far as I know, you didn't get an invitation of your own."

"Of course not."

"Well, you should've gotten one, Mr. Representative. You did more than half of the job."

"Let's not shout victory yet. We still have to see how they'll do in the Summer Festival." Axel grinned and suddenly clenched his teeth to hold a profanity in when Saïx found a tangle in his hair.

By the time Saïx was finished brushing his hair, Axel looked like a different person. With the suit on even those closest to him would have to do a double-take to recognize him.

"Your hair is almost as long as mine," Saïx said as he bunched his hair together at the back of his neck to tie it into a ponytail. "Let's see how you look with the suit on."

"Isn't it getting a bit late?"

Saïx stared back at him through the mirror with a not so amused expression on his face at the redundant question.

Axel laughed. He had been spending a lot of time here lately, most days he didn't even bother to go home. He had found a tramline that left him three blocks away from school in a half hour, and Saïx didn't seem to mind his company. If Axel hadn't known better he'd say that Saïx had been encouraging him to stay.

A few minutes later, Axel stood at the centre of the living room, surrounded by three mirrors in different sizes to see himself from different angles.

The suit fit him like a glove. The half day that had gone to stand on a box in a basement with a tailor taking his measurements and discussing changes with Saïx suddenly seemed worth it as he stood there, admiring his reflection. He didn't even notice that Saïx left the room for a brief moment.

"What do you think?"

Saïx walked up behind him and rested his chin onto Axel's shoulders.

"That I might be a sell-out."

"Why a sell-out?"

"Look at me. You'd think I'm someone who's been to places, someone who'd crush a guy with my wallet." He buttoned up his blazer and turned on his lower body slightly to see how the suit accented his figure.

"I have something for you."

Axel turned around when Saïx looked down as he fiddled a small jewelry box open. He had at least ten different lines to joke this off, but they all clogged up his mind and left him gaping.

"You don't have to look so scared. It's just cuff links." Saïx reached for one of the sleeves to fasten them.

"That better be plastic with golden finish," Axel said and quickly pulled his arm closer to look at the expensive looking cuff link. "Holy…" he didn't know whether to end that with something bad or good. The cuff link was custom made; a golden depiction of his tribe's weapon crest; a hawk with a two-headed snake around its neck.

"Nice, huh? I didn't think the jeweler would get this done in time."

"Saïx…look, I appreciate all of this; the hair, the suit, the unexpected pieces of gold to accessorize my cuffs," he paused and scratched the back of his neck, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Alright. Just…whatever you've been hearing, about you and me, this– I'm not going anywhere is what I'm trying to say. You don't have to shower me with gifts."

"Says the man who brings me store bought cakes and claims them as his own."

"I'd never– you think I've bought them? Really?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I only thought you had bought a few of them." He didn't even try to hide his smile when Axel beamed and pulled him into a tight hug.

Saïx was like a _Charlotte aux poires_. His first line of defense was thought to be an armored wall, but in reality the wall was made out of crunchy ladyfingers that protected a creamy center of pear mousse; a sweet mixture of complicated simplicity that few dared to attempt. Saïx had him question every step of the way; was he doing the right thing by being here or was he wasting his time aspiring for a dessert he'd never figure out?

The answer came and went, it even varied, but it was of little importance now. Axel had thought that he had reached a point of no return a few weeks ago, but now he realized that he was well and truly in the deep end when he had to hold in three short words that could easily make his _Charlotte aux poires_ collapse into itself.

**~ooo~**

Curiosity was a predominant personality trait of his. He had been the kid to take a handful of dirt and put it in his mouth just to see what it tasted like. He had been the one to cause his friends second-hand embarrassment countless of times when he asked inappropriate questions. It had sort of become a duty, and while everyone else pranced around the elephant in the room, he played with it and fed it peanuts.

He had wondered about Saïx's scar for a long time. He had asked about it the first time they met, but something told him that Saïx had been less than honest with him that day, and he figured that it was high time to try again.

"Saïx?" He said in a soft mumble and brushed away a stray hair behind his ear.

Each movement made the covers let an air of flowery scent out from the softener Saïx had used when he had washed them at the small laundry house owned by his housing association.

"Go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

"How did you get that scar?" Axel kissed down the bridge of Saïx's nose softly.

He feared the answer. The elongated X-shaped scar was usually seen in those who had been exorcised by guardians from the Mapu tribe. He had heard that it was a long and exhausting ritual to cleanse the soul from demons and other negative energies that could be harmful to those who were pure. During the war, the practice of exorcism became common; the Mapu tribe's three shamans had been forced to exile, and their guardians didn't hesitate to get the job done.

"I told you. I ran into a small windmill."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire."

"How old are you?" Saïx laughed quietly. "It's an embarrassing story, and far too long to be told now. Sleep."

"I can't. I'm worried that the guards will kick my ass for trying to get into the castle tomorrow. Distract me."

Saïx didn't open his eyes, he accommodated his head against the soft pillow and sighed in resignation.

"When I was eight, going on nine, we had fugitives living with us at home. My parents argued a lot back then. They argued about everything, and when I heard them start, I would go to the hobby room, which was in a small cottage behind the house. I was there when they were arguing one day. My father tried to walk away from my mother, but she followed him around the house, and when they got to the kitchen – it was on the first floor, with glass doors that stood open, so I could hear everything – I heard my mother say that my father didn't care for us anymore, that we were only good for show. My father turned to her and held her by her arms with his big hands, and just looked at her. I ran out to be ready in case anything happened, but he just yelled that there was nothing more important than his family, and he left for the night."

Saïx didn't look at him while he told the story. He tried to, but it just made the story harder to tell. Axel didn't say anything about it. He waited patiently for Saïx to continue.

"It got worse. It got to a point where they couldn't even hide what they were fighting about anymore. My mother wanted the fugitives gone, but my father kept defending them, he catered to their every need and claimed that we owed them. He always said 'they're not hurting us, they want to survive the war, like you and me'. I figured that if they hurt us, he would throw them out. And so, one day the sound of my parents fighting for half a day became too much, I reached for one of the knives that lay in the hobby room, and in front of a mirror I did this. I didn't even flinch. I knew what the cuts meant, and I must have hoped that it would solve everything."

"Did it?"

"They took a break from the fighting long enough to take me to a 'discreet doctor'." Saïx pulled the covers high up enough to almost cover his face. "I thought he'd believe me. I thought that he would take one look at me and run up to the second floor and bodily haul them out of our lives. Instead, he told my mother to not cause a scene when we got to the doctor's house. She kept telling him that they had to go. He ignored her, and when the doctor left the room, he knelt in front of me and asked 'who did this? And don't you dare lie to me, boy'."

"What did you say to him?"

"They did this. The men with the painted faces." Saïx paused. "When we got home that same night, he dragged me up the stairs and into the room where they lived and told me to tell them 'my truth'. I remember that I was petrified, my knees were shaking and my mouth was dry. I don't know for how long I stood there, but my father grabbed me by my arm, and it's kind of funny how clearly I remember this, he said 'you have your mother's poisonous tongue. If you pull a stunt like this again, you'll be the one I throw out on the street, understood?' The only thing I understood was that we weren't the family he cherished above all else, the fugitives were."

"…I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. This is what we're supposed to do, right? Open up and get to know each other. That was a story of the past, and you're just going to make it more embarrassing if you pity me."

Surely, it was an event that had left more than just scars. To be treated in such way by one's own father, it wasn't something that could easily be brushed off as an old antic. But Axel was willing to let Saïx call it whatever he wanted, if only to rid himself from the sudden heaviness that settled on his chest when he looked at the scar again.

"You wanna hear an embarrassing story about me?"

"Not now. We have to sleep." Saïx pushed his covers away and snuggled up against Axel instead. "Tell it tomorrow. And make sure it's a really embarrassing one."

Axel smiled, "I will."

He looked around the room briefly when he heard birds chirp outside even though there were still a few hours of nighttime left.

"Can I ask you another question?" Axel asked after a few moments.

"What now?"

"What possessed you to buy wallpaper with hens and roosters on it?"

Saïx shook with stifled laughter at Axel's question. Axel had never taken time to notice the animals depicted on the wallpaper, he had other things to think about when he was in here, but now that he was looking around, he had suddenly noticed that the colorful squiggles on the wall were in fact hens and roosters.

"It's a thing of nightmares."

"Shut up," Saïx smiled and held his hand over Axel's mouth, "It's late, go to sleep."

He fell asleep eventually, and he was fortunately not haunted by any ornithological animals in his dreams.

**~ooo~**

The wide path through the gates and up the stairs to the grand entrance of the castle was lit up by medium-sized street lamps alongside it, and it was guarded by large and well-built men in the issued uniforms of the Royal Guard.

Last time Axel had been here, he had been nearly crushed against the gates while he clutched at his sign of protest with something witty written on it about the discrimination the natives were faced with on a daily basis.

It felt strange walking through the gates, dressed in the most expensive attire his skin had ever come in contact with, and witness the guards salute him and Saïx as they continued into the castle where a man in a baggy and colorful striped outfit announced their arrival to the other guests.

There were many important people attending, Axel noticed as he followed Saïx further into the majestic ballroom, but the architecture was what called for his attention. The marble arches stretched up high and melted together with the ceiling, which was covered in golden patterns. If Saïx hadn't held him by his hand, Axel was certain that he would have walked into one of the many waiters offering the guests hors d'oeuvres.

Everyone looked like they had been taken out of a fairytale and put here to complete the perfect image. The dresses the women wore were clearly custom-made, no dress looked like the other, and the handy work that had gone into some of the dresses were astounding. The designers sure put all of their effort into the clothes they knew were to be displayed here.

"Oh, you have to try these." Saïx stopped a waiter and took two pieces of miniature food from a silver plate.

"What is it?"

The waiter smiled politely and decided to answer the question before he went on his way.

"This is Chèvre cheese and smoked salmon on a bruschetta with a sprinkle of the finest olive oil. Tonight's hors d'oeuvres go very well with the imported Sauvignon Blanc, as recommended by our chef."

Axel stared after the waiter, dumbfounded by the long and confusing answer to a very simple question.

"It's goat cheese with fish on a toast and a little olive oil. Here." Saïx fed him a small piece and took a bite himself while Axel finished chewing.

"You think we can get him to hand over the entire plate? I'm hungry."

"Don't eat yourself full on the starters. They'll serve the dinner in an hour or so."

"Where?"

"Through there. There are long tables, one main, and three or four others, depending on how many guests there are."

"Where do we sit? Do we get name tags?" Axel looked across the room where there was another marble arch, covered by long, red drapes.

"We sit by the main table."

"That's great. Great…how are you? Nervous? You have a speech prepared?" Axel shifted his weight from one foot to another, and suddenly he felt the need to undo the first three buttons on his shirt and get rid of the bow-tie currently strangling him.

"Calm down. You're going to be honored, not cast out."

"No one's going to believe me when I tell this story. Hey, how was your weekend? It was splendid. I ate fish and toast off a silver plate and sat at the main table with the people who own Radiant Garden, I might have spilled some savy black on the King, but we're buddies now, so my head stays on. How was your weekend?"

"It's Sauvignon Blanc, and Xemnas will sit next to the King."

"Doesn't the King have two sides?"

"The Queen will sit on his other side."

"On which side do we sit?"

"On Xemnas' side. The King sits in the middle, Xemnas will sit to his right, followed by me, you and whoever comes after." Saïx moved Axel's hands away from the bow-tie and straightened it.

Saïx didn't seem to be worried at all about what his colleagues and the nobility of Radiant Garden would think of their closeness. It was Axel's understanding that same sex-relationships were accepted by the upper class in a way that wasn't seen at all in the lower class, but that wasn't the main issue people would have with their relationship.

They were both from opposing sides, a native and a successful Radiant Gardian from the middle class. Those kind of mixed relationships were frowned upon, and either one side or both ostracized those who had tried to make it work.

"Are you sure it looks alright? It feels weird at the back of my neck."

"Yeah, it looks good. Maybe it got tangled when you pulled on it."

Saïx reached around Axel's neck, his fingers following the silk tie under the folded collar of the shirt. There was nothing to find. Axel only needed an excuse to keep Saïx close without seeming like he was pushing his luck.

Something like this couldn't be wrong, could it? He had found someone who put up with all of his quirks, who enjoyed his company, and took care of him. Yet, he was scared of admitting his feelings out loud, not because of the possible backlash from society, but because of Saïx's reaction.

Emotions were not his strong suit, but Axel wanted Saïx to know what he meant to him. He wanted to put an official label on what they were, and he was certain that Saïx would thank him for making him put words to his feelings.

"Saïx, I have something to…"

"I have to find Xemnas."

Saïx had disappeared into the crowd long before Axel managed to stutter a "wait" after him all the while he struggled with the notion that maybe Saïx was a mind reader.

"Axel, what a surprise to see you here!" Xion's father, Xalbador Madhava, walked up behind him, and Axel turned around to greet the man.

Xalbador was dressed in a formal, marine-blue uniform, accessorized with two rows of medals over his heart. The wrinkles around his eyes became more visible when he smiled widely, and he chuckled at Axel's confused expression.

"Likewise, sir. I didn't know that you were a soldier?"

"General Lieutenant. Yes, I try to keep it low-key to not cause Xion any troubles. You know how mean children can be."

"Are you here with your family?"

"No," Xalbador shook his head, "I don't have the same power the faculty at Lumineux High has, despite my many sacrifices." His smile darkened momentarily, but he quickly shook it off to not seem all too bitter. "You must be thrilled. You're the first civilian native to step foot in the castle without handcuffs."

"Yeah, I was promoted to wear cufflinks instead." Axel held up his hands to show the General Lieutenant the two pieces of gold, expecting at least a smile, but there was only a brief moment of awkward silence.

"How is my daughter's application going?"

"It's going very well. She finished an important test that has been sent to a specialized professor for revision. She has passed three tests already, which she must've told you about. She was very happy when she got the results."

"By specialized professor, you mean someone from Lumineux High?"

"Yes, sir." Axel smiled nervously. Xalbador was glaring at him with badly hidden disapproval, and Axel had to mentally fight himself to not claw at the bow-tie that was seriously out to get his life.

"Don't let your guard down just because they let you in on one of their parties, Axel. They are vicious and will stop at nothing to keep their anti-native policies. How come you don't revise this important test since you are so keen on protecting your students?"

"I'm not…I'm not certified, sir. If I revised her tests, her application wouldn't even be looked at."

"And that's the bitch of it, son. The same people keeping you from receiving a title are the same people who you think are your best friends right now, but mark my words, the back-stab will come sooner or later, and when it comes, you need to be prepared."

Xalbador's mindset was most likely one of the fundamental problems to the segregation in Radiant Garden. There was a complete lack of trust, and there was no willpower to make it better. Everyone kept on playing games, but everything remained the same underneath the surface of made-believe improvement.

The dinner bell from across the room saved Axel from starting an argument with the elder man. He didn't accompany the man inside the dining hall, he hurried through the crowd, excusing himself all the way up to the main table where Saïx had just taken a seat next to principal Xemnas.

"…they decided to put flour in everything, they even replaced the grounded almonds with flour, and they're not even going to use real chocolate."

Axel sat down between Saïx and a young looking man with his bangs over half his face. His name was Zexion according to the name tag, and Zexion glanced at him as he sat down.

"Hello," he said and reached his hand out to give Axel a proper greeting. "I'm Zexion, chief of the Royal Science Committee, and former vice principal of Lumineux High. You're the representative from Terne High, I presume?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm Axel."

"Nice to meet you, Axel. We were just discussing the escalating issues between the Ministry of Environment and the military. Are you familiar with it?"

Axel quickly glanced at the empty chairs in front of them and then to Saïx's side to see if the King sat there as well, waiting for him to introduce himself, but neither the King nor the Queen were there and Axel exhaled slowly in relief.

"I can't say that I am," he answered finally.

"The Ministry of Environment is currently playing with fire with their little passive aggressive fits. They are toying around with the national dessert at a banquet filled with former soldiers who fought for all of us during the war." An older, blond man who sat across from Zexion pitched in. His eyes were sunken, and he had cheekbones that could cut through diamond. Axel quickly looked at the man's name-tag; Vexen.

"They are making a statement. The military is destroying good plantation soil used for almond trees and cocoa plants, just so that they can play around with their big guns. They will only stop if something they cherish is affected by it," Saïx said.

"Do you really think that these former soldiers can tell the difference between a pastry with or without grounded almonds? They will simply stuff their faces and carry on," Xemnas argued.

"But there are surely connoisseurs here who will react and ask questions. This event is covered by the media, isn't it?" Zexion leaned forward to hear the others better in the buzzing room.

"I think it's very easy to notice the difference on a pastry that lacks the ingredients that makes it stand out," Axel found himself saying. "The national dessert has a distinct texture and flavor. It's got a fragrant coconut flavor, a rich ganache of chocolate and coffee, all mixed up with the savory of grounded almonds…"

"So you believe that the Ministry of Environment will succeed with their subtle protests?" Xemnas asked, amused.

"I hope so. The military has no business blowing things up. They've done enough damage to last a hundred lifetimes."

"I agree," Saïx said with a soft smile.

The trumpets echoed in the big dining room, and everyone rose to their feet as the King and the Queen were announced.

Axel sat and observed the rest of the guests most of the time. Everyone at their table were having some kind of deep and meaningful conversation about everything from philosophy to Radiant Garden's development and sustainable economy.

The honorary students that Saïx had been talking about sat across from the King and the Queen. They didn't seem the least bit nervous about where they were or who they were talking to. They had been trained for days like these, this was what their lives were going to be like.

Saïx spoke to the King and Queen like he was talking to relatives, and the light atmosphere between all of them made Axel wonder how many times Saïx had been here at the main table, sharing a meal with the absolute top. The question led his thoughts down a path he had avoided since he first realized that he had a crush on Saïx; what if he wasn't good enough?

He couldn't measure up to all of this. He couldn't contribute to conversations with this kind of standard, he was sure that he offered no intellectual stimulus in general, he was just a guy who dropped by every now and then with cake.

As dinner came to an end, and the aftertaste of fake chocolate lingered in his mouth, Axel decided that it was best to go home and do some more pondering before he did anything rash, but on their way out to the ballroom, Saïx took his hand and held it casually.

"You're going to start rumors that'll haunt you forever," Axel said, but made no effort to pull his hand away.

"I don't mind. I only see these people three times a year anyway."

The sound of a harp came from the far back of the ballroom, and Axel noticed that people walked further back into the room to prepare for the night's first waltz.

"Wanna dance?"

"What? No."

"Can you dance?" Axel smiled when Saïx avoided looking him in the eye.

"Of course I can. Can you?"

"There's only one way to find out." He led them towards the dance floor where couples swooshed past them in perfect synchronization.

"No, Axel, we can't go in there and experiment. It's not –"

"Shhh." He pulled Saïx in close, one hand below Saïx's right shoulder blade and the other below Saïx's hand. "Trust me." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"We're not moving unless you open your eyes."

"I'll lead."

Axel had expected some resistance, maybe even some awkward struggle for dominance as they moved out on the dance floor, but Saïx let him lead the dance. They moved together, making a part of the spectacular formation that only the cherubs up on the vaults could witness.

"There's a story behind this," Saïx said as they turned.

"Of course there is."

He smiled at seeing the curiosity in Saïx's eyes. It was strange for a native to know how to waltz. It was a conservative dance. It represented the upper class. It wasn't something anyone would think a native would want to learn.

"In eighth grade we were having a prom at school. It was a big deal, there were lots of protests from parents and a lot of quiet cheers from me and my classmates. To avoid having the same drama that unfolded in other schools when prom night approached – who's gonna ask who out, who was going to get their heart shattered, those things were our three teachers main concern. They ended up pairing us up, two and two. No trading was allowed. I was paired up with Lucilda. We were like thirty-six kids in different ages all in the same class. She was my age, and about three times my size."

"You got paired up with the outcast of the class?"

"Outcast? No. No, she was really sociable, and funny. I had quite the crush on her." Axel paused when Saïx suddenly had to stifle a loud laugh. "Hey, don't laugh. She was more charming than me. She would've had you around her little finger in no time at all."

Axel's smile grew wider when Saïx moved in closer to hide his amusement and finally broke their waltz stance and changed it into fast slow-dancing.

"Anyway, Lucilda wasn't that happy being paired up with me because I was scrawny and generally awkward looking. This was right before the summer when puberty did its number on me. My general attitude seemed to bother her too. I thought I was the hole of the cake." He sighed. "There were eighteen couples and we all got to choose a dance to perform at prom. Lucilda chose waltz."

"You didn't get a say?"

"I could hardly form a coherent sentence."

"Good Lord…"

"We got to know each other better over time, and I think she might have had feelings for me too."

"But?"

"But, she was a clumsy dancer. She spend most of practice stepping on my toes, and one day, my mother saw my bruised feet and she later found out that I had been paired up with the daughter of one of her arch-nemesis'. She forbade me to go to prom with Lucilda, she talked with my teachers, and dad begged me to please go along with it. Lucilda went to prom with our class jock, and she waltzed beautifully with him. I got stuck with Clarice and her convoluted folk dance tribute to the Wachit tribe, which is to date the only thing I have felt ashamed for."

Saïx was shaking in his arms with withheld laughter. They stopped on the middle of the dance floor when Saïx could no longer focus on how to move his feet.

"You've seen the Wachit tribe's folk dance, haven't you?"

Saïx nodded, hiding his face against Axel's shoulder. They were starting to attract attention, and it still didn't seem to bother Saïx in the slightest.

A soft sob escaped him once he had calmed down. He smiled gently and reached for Axel's hand to lead him away from the dance floor.

There was one thing they had to do before they left, and as they hurried after a waiter to get their hands on some more hors d'oeuvres before leaving, Axel played with the thought that maybe he was good enough after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter Seven  
**

* * *

Some things he never thought he would get used to, like Axel walking closely next to him and absentmindedly lacing their fingers together as they strolled through the grand plaza at sunset, or their lunch dates on weekdays that usually ended up with them talking about the Summer Festival.

Axel had become a prominent aspect of his life. He was always around in one way or another.

It was difficult to imagine a life without him, but Saïx was trying. He tried to focus on the things that annoyed or upset him, like the time Axel spent on telling him stories about the rehearsals at Terne High and the enthusiastic involvement of "his kids".

They were Axel's pride and joy, and it showed in the way his eyes lit up when he spoke of them.

Saïx wasn't quite sure how he felt about it; it was a mixture of delight and jealousy mostly, and now, as an imminent ending came their way, sadness joined the mix.

He knew that in a contest for Axel's attention and affection between himself and Axel's students, Axel's students would always win, especially now that Saïx's true colors were shining through.

Twenty-four had passed since Saïx had submitted his revision of Xion's test that was her ticket into Lumineux High. According to his revision, she had failed to prove that she had what it took to pass the History-exam, and her skills in reading, writing and understanding were subpar at best. Her results were a threat to the school's average score, according to his assessment.

There was no way Xion was getting into Lumineux High, and it was a bitter and guilt-ridden relief.

Axel had probably looked over the test a hundred times before sending it to Saïx for revision, just to prepare himself for the comments and red markings it would come back with. Axel had been every bit as involved in the exams as Xion had, if not more. He had been the one to help Xion get the literature she needed, he had studied with her, and he had gone through books on how to write essays to teach her how to write one.

Xion's admittance was his aspiration, and Saïx had ended it all with the stroke of his pen.

"Hey, are you ready to go?"

Axel walked up to him with a quirky smile when his sandals made squeaky noises against the polished floor in the long and empty hallway. He leaned in for a quick peck, and he brushed a stray hair from Saïx's forehead as he stood back.

"Where are we going?"

"For a picnic."

"Yes, but where?"

"To a really nice place."

"Axel…"

"Are you sure that you want to use my name right now? You know what it does to me."

It was enough to crack a smile out of him, and it had barely faded when Axel led him outside to where he had parked a dark green bike with a flowery basket in front of where he had packed their picnic.

"Before you say anything, the flowers were not my idea."

"And the pink cushion on the carrier rack?" Saïx chuckled.

"Alright, that was my idea. You're still getting on the bike, right?"

"I'm still getting on the bike."

Axel pulled him in for a hug. "Good. I've been working really hard with this picnic. I've done lots of stuff that I need you to try out."

"So we're just going to eat sweets?"

"No. I stole some food that my roommate made for lunch too. But before we go, we need to get you out of all of these layers." He tugged on the sleeves of Saïx's blazer. "It's too warm to be dressed like this."

"The weatherman said that there was going to be rain later today."

"Rain from where? There's not a cloud in the sky. If you want to know what the weather's gonna be like, you can always ask me. I have a sixth sense when it comes to foretelling the weather, and I'm telling you that there's not going to be any rain today, only sunshine, birds chirping, a bit of a breeze," Axel paused for a kiss as he pulled off Saïx's blazer, "lots of kisses, orange and chocolate pudding…"

"Yeah, the weatherman missed all of those details."

"I know he did. You want to get out of the pants too?"

Saïx laughed and shoved Axel softly. He had that intense look in his eyes; that fixated stare that wasn't only slightly intimidating, but also alluring and enticing, and Saïx was having none of it on school grounds as usual.

"Let's go," he said and walked past Axel to get to the bike.

"I'll get to undress you later, right?" Axel asked with a mischievous smile as he took his place in front of Saïx.

"Let's go!"

Axel pedaled out to the main road and toward the wall that surrounded the city. The wind blew in their hair once Axel picked up the pace, and as they got closer to the wall, they could see the ocean in the horizon.

Saïx held on tightly in the downhill slopes, feeling Axel's "Woo!" vibrate down his warm back. Amongst the things he never thought he would get used to was Axel's warmth, and once this was over, he knew it would be one of the things he would miss the most.

**~ooo~**

In a perfect world, Axel would have led a life full of opportunities. He learned fast and he was keen to develop his skills, and if he had succeeded to get Xion into Lumineux High he might have received better job offerings, but he was stuck in Terne High with no chance of creating a career.

Saïx knew that he could help him out of it, at least as a last favor for disapproving Xion's application on false grounds.

"Hello? Saïx?" Axel waved his hand in front of Saïx's face until he got his attention. "You spaced out."

"Sorry."

"Was the pudding so good that it short-circuited your brain?"

"Actually, it got me thinking." Saïx put his colorful plastic-plate down onto the blanket they were sitting on and looked up slowly. "Have you thought of pursuing this as a career? You could open your own business. You could apply for a culinary scholarship to get a diploma and initial capital to start your business."

"That good, huh?" Axel's smile faded as soon as he turned his attention to the ocean and he used his spoon to play around with the leftover of orange and chocolate pudding on his plate. "I can't leave my kids behind, you know that. They're barely getting by as it is, I'm there to keep them afloat."

"You'd only be gone for a year, and once you get your business running you could take interns from Terne High and give them their first job maybe?"

"It's not because it bothers you that I'm not striving higher, is it?"

"What?"

This was a great opportunity to push him away. It hadn't even occurred to him that he could use their differences to hurry up their rupture, but that bitter look that stemmed from thinking that maybe you weren't good enough was something he recognized in himself, and it wasn't something that belonged in Axel, he decided.

"No. No, that's not– I don't think you should be striving higher. You're doing something great for those children. It's selfless. I just thought that you were doing pastries for a reason, to maybe make a living out of it…?"

"I'm doing pastries for you, to see the relaxed expression on your face when you take the first bite and know that I put it there."

"What are you talking about? I don't have an expression when I eat cake." Saïx's heart skipped a beat at the tone of Axel's voice. He had listened to plenty of romantically themed radio theaters to know that Axel was building up for something that wasn't favorable for neither of them.

"Yes, you do." Axel laughed.

"I do not!"

"As the person who observes you when you eat, I'm telling you that you have an expression when you eat cake!"

"You need to stop observing me when I eat, you creep. What am I? An animal at the zoo? I know my face better than anyone, I would know if there was an expression on it. I mean, there's always an expression on it, but it if it was a relaxed expression directly linked to me eating cake, I would know."

Axel was shaking with laughter when he moved in closer while Saïx kept listing the reasons why Axel clearly was making things up, and he didn't notice that Axel had softly coaxed him onto his back until he saw patches of blue sky through Axel's wild hair.

"Axel…there might be people–"

"There's no one here," he interrupted in a soft voice. His hands were on each side of Saïx's face, and he had straddled him at some point. "Look, I know this is weird. I don't even know what the hell I'm doing, but, I need to tell you something and I want you to look at me and tell me whatever comes to your mind when I'm done. Good or bad, I can take it."

He suddenly smiled sheepishly and hung his head before he reached for Saïx's hand to put it on his chest, right above his heart. "This is what you do to me. Seriously, do you feel that? You're gonna cause me a heart attack one of these days."

"Sure, blame me." Saïx smiled nervously. "Can't it be the dozen of yolks that went into the chocolate pudding? Cholesterol is a real killer, you know. Two out of five Radiant Gardians suffer from high cholesterol levels in their blood. You should consult your doctor about it and get tests done to rule it out, or whatever they do to prevent it from getting worse…"

Saïx hoped and prayed that Axel wouldn't get the stupid idea to feel if Saïx's heart was beating as fast as his, which it was. No one could blame him. Axel was about to say The Three Words that caused more harm than good, and he couldn't think of a way to stop this from happening.

He could have wriggled out of Axel's hold of him and made a run for the bike. He could have told him that he saw a unicorn gallop behind him to get out of it, but there was a big part of him that wanted to hear Axel say it, just to know what it would be like, and maybe play and pretend for a short while that they lived in a perfect world that would conclude Axel's confession with a happy ever after. What that part didn't understand was that there was no turning back once those words had been said. With such a confession came instant expectations, obligations, hopes for the future that would come crashing down before it even began.

"Are you done with the public announcement?" Axel grinned when Saïx's words slowly faded into inaudible mumbles at his proximity.

The first drop of rain came as a surprise as it hit him on the forehead, the second and third that quickly followed the first were a blessing. Dark clouds had pulled in over the blue sky from seemingly nowhere. With a low rumbling came the rest of the cold rain. The droplets of water fell down over them like rocks, and Saïx thought that it would make Axel move away, but he quickly regained focus soon after the initial shock.

"Saïx…"

"Let's hurry home." He pulled Axel in for a kiss with trembling hands, overjoyed that he could blame the cold rain. "You can undress me then. It's too hot to be in all of these layers."

He gave Axel a small smile in hope that it would hide the desperate plea in his eyes. There was a small falter in the façade Axel had to struggle to put up; a hint of hurt that stung to see and only added to the guilt Saïx harbored.

"Is that dirty talk?" He asked finally with a weak smile when Saïx sighed with relief.

"You want this to happen or not?"

"Will you keep up the dirty talk?" Axel teased.

"I think I can put my mouth to better use."

"Wow. Alright. Definite improvement." Axel got up onto his feet and helped Saïx up before he quickly folded everything into the blanket to toss it into the flowery basket of the bike. "C'mon, let's go!"

Saïx took his seat on the carrier rack and put his arms around Axel's waist as he pedaled towards the same road they had taken to this park in the outskirts of Radiant Garden.

They didn't say anything on the way home. Axel was deep in thought, sighing deeply every now and then. It was better this way, Saïx thought. All the feelings of affection Axel felt towards him today would be gone tomorrow, and history said that Saïx should brace himself for what they would be replaced by if he wanted any chance at recovery.

In a choice between them or him, it was always them, he reminded himself.

The rain was pouring still by the time they got home. Saïx thought that Axel would try to initiate the conversation again, but as they approached the door, he pulled Saïx in for a rough kiss.

He was angry.

Axel's fingers dug into Saïx's hips while he pushed him up against the unlocked door, and he mumbled soft apologies as an afterthought for the hurt he hadn't intended to show. His kisses were desperate and bitter, and this time there was no coffee to be blamed.

**~ooo~**

He had almost spent all day trying to recall how he had recovered from heartbreak before, but the loud ticking from every clock he had in the house made it near impossible to focus.

Axel had left early in the morning to get to work, and it had taken all of Saïx's willpower to not stop him from leaving, but it was best to get this over and done with. There was no point in avoiding the unavoidable.

It was comforting to know that in time, this would be nothing but a bad memory that he could hide behind layers of denial, and as he idly locked his front door, his cookie jar in the periphery of his eye, it dawned on him; that was his strategy for recovery.

More dark clouds had pulled in from the sea and the wind seemed to be picking up speed. Saïx hoped quietly for a storm as he peeked through the curtains to see the newspaper stick out from his crooked mailbox. He contemplated going out to get it and read the weatherman's predictions, but then he saw Axel march up the road. He stepped back in panic, accidentally walking into the bureau where he had put his cookie jar down for the time being.

The loud sound of the porcelain jar coming to pieces had Saïx quickly fall to the floor and hide up against the wall when he heard Axel approach the front door with heavy steps.

He knocked on the door three times, loud enough for it to be heard through the house, but Saïx sat still, looking ahead while thinking of what a coward he had become as the knockings turned into impatient banging.

"Open the door, Saïx!"

Here it comes, the inevitable outburst of anger for his pathological incapacity of speaking. He had been preparing for this all day, running through every possible scenario in his head, but now that Axel stood there, ready for a confrontation, Saïx found himself paralyzed with fear.

"Saïx! I know you're in there! If you have a shred of decency in you, you'll open up the door and tell me what the hell this is supposed to mean!"

He could hear Axel wave about with the file right outside the door in the silence that followed.

"Get out here!" Axel yelled. "I'm giving you a chance to explain yourself! What do you mean that Xion's skills are 'subpar', huh? You think I'm an idiot? That I don't know shit about history? She aced the test. She passed all the tests on that list and she's still not getting into that godforsaken school!" He let out an exasperated groan and moved away from the door for a moment, but he soon came back again.

Saïx could hear him pace by the door, muttering to himself before he turned to the door to bang on it again. He stood back and waited for Saïx to open the door, but there was only silence, and Axel chuckled bitterly.

"You know what the worst part is? I thought you were different, but you're worse than the people openly showing and spreading their hate for us. You hide your hate, pretend to think of everyone as equal, but when it comes down to it, you pull the rug right underneath our feet to keep us in our little corner where we belong."

Saïx crawled closer to the door when Axel trailed off. He sat in front of it, resting his forehead against the cold oak-door, wishing that he could at least muster the courage to apologize.

"Xion's a great kid, y'know. Bright, generous, caring, courageous. She could've made something out of herself, given us a voice, show her friends that the world outside our own wasn't that hateful. You ruined that. You reaffirmed everything they already thought they knew, and I hope that this comes back to haunt you because it's just not fair that someone like you can get so far when people like Xion, people who can make a difference, get stuck on the absolute bottom." His voice trembled with anger. "Don't you think for a second that this is over. We will fight you. We haven't gotten this far to be stopped by one of the many obstacles on the way. She's not alone in this, and I won't let you break her." Axel stepped back from the door slowly and turned to leave.

Saïx heard his footsteps fade away, but he didn't move from where he sat. From all of the scenarios he had imagined, he had never expected to feel empty and sick. He knew how the story would end beforehand. None of this should have taken him by surprise, but he had let Axel in and closing the door wasn't enough to keep him and his hurtful words out.

He turned on his head slightly to see the shards of his cookie jar all over the floor and he was hit by the thought that he should clean it up to not hurt himself on them, but there was something fitting about it all and he didn't feel like moving away from the door.

**~ooo~**

Axel's wishes came true. The very next morning he received a handwritten letter from principal Xemnas that had been sent to him with urgency. The mailman had been slightly out of breath and had Saïx sign a form that confirmed that he had read, received and accepted the contents of the letter.

He had been summoned for a meeting regarding Xion's application at the principal's office early on Friday morning. He had been asked to bring a letter of resignation and to not make matters worse, not when the Summer Festival was around the corner.

The hallways in the main building of Lumineux High stood empty and quiet as he walked in through the entrance. His students didn't start until half past nine today, and most of the other students started their Fridays with math, physics or chemistry in the building by the sports arena.

He had been calm when he left home this morning. Why worry about something that was out of his control? But then he saw the silhouette of the school from the tramcar and his chest suddenly clenched with anxiety when he realized what he was up against. It wasn't difficult to stand up for himself when he was convinced that he was right, but he knew what he had done was wrong, and he doubted that he would be able to come up with a convincing lie when he had to tell it in front of Axel, Xion, and his father.

This meeting would become everything he had tried to avoid by not admitting Xion to Lumineux High, and there was probably no one else to blame but himself.

"Saïx, what have you gotten yourself into?" Vexen caught him halfway through the foyer and walked with him down the hallway towards Xemnas' office. "We could have given her a preliminary answer to her application and denied it after this whole collaboration was off. Why would you risk your career for something like this?"

"I wasn't thinking clearly." His judgment had been clouded with jealousy, he realized, and it just added to the list of reasons why relationships frightened him. "Are you attending the meeting?"

"Yes. I'm taking over the role as vice principal until further notice."

"Congratulations."

He couldn't even bring himself to feel angry for losing his newly gained position to Vexen when he could see the wide doors that led into the waiting room where they would be sitting, and maybe it was too much to hope that Xemnas would show up early to let him forget all about this and go home.

Saïx had jeopardized their four million munny project when there were only weeks left until the Summer Festival. Xemnas would probably let him stew in his own misery as an extra punishment for his recklessness.

He clearly heard Axel and his father speak before Vexen pushed the doors open, and as soon as they stepped into the room, they fell into silence.

Saïx followed Vexen to the couch by the wall across from Axel. He didn't know if Axel was looking at him or not, he kept his eyes on the floor, his hands clasped together on his lap as he waited for Xemnas to make his entrance.

"What did the blue lines stand for?" Saïx heard his father ask. Axel rustled with the papers in the file he balanced on his lap.

"It stands for things I'm not a hundred percent sure on, we had to return the literature a week before the test, so some details are a bit foggy. The ones in this shade of red are stuff I'm a hundred percent sure of. According to the score sheet…this answer for example. Look. She got a three point two, but according to the score sheet she should have scored at least a five with this answer, but because of this nitpicking, she scored lower."

"But the answer is correct?"

"Yes, sir, it is."

"See, if you weren't denied your teacher certification, you could've done a much better job than these good-for-nothings who think they're so much better than everyone else."

It infuriated him how small he felt in the presence of his father. He became the pitiful ten-year old boy who craved his father's approval, and to not lose it, he remained silent while he was put down for his life choices. He didn't want his father to have this power over him, but the hurt that lingered from once again hearing that he wasn't good enough was a harsh reminder that whether he liked or not, his father still had the power to bring him down.

"Gentlemen." Xemnas walked past them and hurried into his office, leaving his assistant to keep the door open for Axel and Xalbador. He gestured for them to sit down before took a seat and sighed softly. "I understand that there has been a misunderstanding?"

"A misunderstanding?" Xalbador said. "This was a sabotage to keep my daughter from having a decent future. Do you know how much trouble I could cause your fine school by letting it slip that your vice principal intentionally failed my daughter who happens to be a very important member of the Mapu tribe?"

"General Madhava, I assure you that I will do everything in my power to get to the bottom of this. Our first priority is to make sure that your daughter gets a properly revised test since her results will end up on her permanent record. As you said, your daughter's future is at stake here. Did you bring the test Professor Saïx revised?"

This meeting was just for show, to let the offended get everything off their chest and think that they had been the ones to convince Xemnas of what measures needed to be taken when in reality Xemnas had already decided what to do.

Saïx sat silently waiting for his cue while the others discussed the test and everything that had gone wrong.

"Professor Saïx?"

"Yes?" He looked up from the spot he had fixated his eyes on to meet Xemnas' ice-cold glare.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

That was his cue.

He turned to face his father and Axel for the first time during the meeting and he lowered his head slightly as he readied himself for the apology speech he had rehearsed last night before going to bed.

"I apologize for my actions and the inconvenience I've caused by them. I'm certain that my words are of little importance to you and that you might want actions instead of a simple apology to stature an example for others who think that they can get away with discrimination." He reached into the inside pocket of his blazer and pulled out his letter of resignation and reached it to Xemnas. "I resign."

"What?" Axel's silent surprise was drowned out by Xalbador.

"It's no more than right. It would clearly be an outrage and a definite setback to have someone with such hatred towards natives managing the first project set into motion to promote tolerance since the war ended."

"Does that mean that General Madhava accepts this apology?" Xemnas asked to make sure.

"Well, as long as this isn't some hoax to keep me quiet for the moment, and I expect that my daughter gets a new and fair chance to apply for next semester. I've been told that she has had excellent results." Xalbador patted Axel on the back, "And now that you have a vacant position, you might want to take a look at this man's resume."

"How about we take a look at your daughter's test first, choose an adequate professor to revise it again, and then we can talk about everything else?" Xemnas turned to Saïx briefly. "Professor Saïx, you are excused. You will receive notice about what's been decided today as well as new scheduled meeting to tie up loose ends. Good day."

"Good day."

That went better than expected, he thought dully as he stepped outside. It felt strange knowing that he wouldn't be coming here for work anymore. This had been his second home since his high school days. A change of scenery might do him some good after so many years at the same place.

"Saïx!"

Saïx walked faster down the hallway when he heard Axel come after him. Once he set foot outside school grounds, he would do his best to forget all about this semester, and he didn't want Axel to be his last memory of this school.

"Hey!"

As soon as he felt Axel's hand on his arm, he pulled away and against his better judgment, he turned around to face Axel.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving, obviously."

"You resigned." Axel stared at him as if he was waiting for the reality of it to sink into Saïx's brain, but Saïx just stared back. "Wha– I thought that this place, this job, meant something to you. You're just gonna give it up…?"

"What did you think would happen? It's a four million munny project on the line. I'm not worth four million." He took a step back slowly. "You should go back. General Madhava is probably cutting you a great deal right now, you might want to be a part of it."

Saïx turned to leave, but Axel grabbed his arm softly and stood back when Saïx pulled away again.

"Why did you do it? You must have known that this would be the outcome."

He hadn't known, and he felt ashamed at admitting it to himself. He hadn't thought that far ahead. All he knew was that he didn't want his father or Xion in his life, and when he saw how Xion had nestled her way into Axel's heart, he had felt threatened, and with the confidence Axel inspired in him, he had led himself to believe that his story would end differently if he could just rid himself of her.

"Saïx, please. I need to know if we can fix this."

"We can't. There's nothing to fix. Whatever it was that we had was a mistake and it would be best if we forget that this ever happened. That's what I'll do." He took a deep breath and caught a glance of Axel's face briefly.

"Excuse me. Axel, was it?" Only Zexion's fingers knocking on Axel's shoulder were visible from where the short man stood before Axel turned around to face him. "Kindly go back to principal Xemnas' office, they are waiting for you and Principal Xemnas has a school to run, so off you go."

Axel walked back reluctantly, but when he finally was gone, Saïx could breathe in relief.

"I heard you had managed to dig a pretty deep grave for yourself." Zexion didn't look nearly as amused as Saïx would expect him to be. He crossed his arms and shook his head softly. "What a wasted opportunity. I had plans for you, Saïx. Oh, well. Have you looked for another job?"

"I just got fired."

"According to your signature on the form you signed for the mailman, you've been out of a job for nearly twenty-four hours, Saïx. I took the liberty to look through your documentation and I saw that you had finished a pre-university course in Technical Sciences before you decided to become a History teacher."

"What do you want, Zexion?"

"Since you're unemployed you could come to the Research Center on Monday morning at eight for an interview for a position as lab assistant…" He trailed off and looked around for dramatic effect, "And you can start at nine."

"Even though I've just been labeled a racist?"

"You could've been labeled as Vexen for all I care. Research Center, Monday morning at eight. Don't be late, Saïx, or you'll make me look a fool in front of my boss." Zexion laughed at his own joke as he continued down the hallway.

He assumed that this was what privilege was. He got opportunities without even asking for them. Zexion would probably test his loyalty as much as he could to see where Saïx would draw the line. It would at least keep him busy from dwelling on this, he thought as he walked back home.

He stopped by a bakery for cookies and by a hardware shop for glue to put his broken cookie jar back together as soon as he felt like picking up the shards from the floor.


	8. Chapter 8

**Broken Cookie Jars and Spilled Milk**

**Chapter Eight  
**

* * *

The Summer Festival had gone smoothly, and some even called it a success and a milestone on the long road they had to walk towards tolerance and equality between the races. The King had congratulated both schools on their collaboration and at the closing ceremony he had given both representatives from each school a large check, to the applause of proud parents and students.

It had been odd standing up there on stage, receiving praise from the King himself when he was in the company of the new representative from Lumineux High. Despite everything that had happened, it was a moment Axel had wished to share with Saïx.

That had been a month ago, and since life didn't wait around for him to finish sulking, he had to dive back into work when a new flock of kids was expected for the autumn.

"Axel, you said that this wouldn't take longer than a minute." Demyx whined from where he sat across from Axel.

It was midday and past Demyx's lunchtime. Needless to say, Demyx was getting impatient.

"One sec…" Axel flipped through some documents and quickly turned to the form he was filling in.

"You're not even listening. You said you would buy me lunch! Where's my lunch, Axel? Why would you lie to me?"

Axel looked up from his papers and sighed. "I asked you if you wanted to wait for me so that we could eat lunch together. You said yes, and then I said that I had stuff to do before lunch and that it would take me at least a half hour to be finished here because I have a meeting with a parent. Then you said that you could wait as long as I paid for lunch."

"I don't remember that conversation taking place."

"Here, you can go and post this for me while I'm having the meeting. Demyx, this is a very important document, so please put it in the right mailbox."

"The yellow one?"

"The blue one." Axel reached the brown envelope to Demyx with a meaning glare when Demyx cackled at the worried expression on his face.

"What is it? A love letter?"

"It's an application form…for a scholarship."

"But you're ancient. What school would want an old man like you attend their classes?"

"I'm twenty-eight, thank you very much! And I'll have you know that I have great shot at getting that scholarship because I already passed the audition with flying colors."

"You're going to clown school?" Demyx dodged the ball of paper with an unimpressed look. Axel had told him about Saïx, and their first encounter in hope that talking about it would help him get over Saïx faster and show Demyx that he trusted him enough to confide in him, but the only thing Demyx had taken away from his story was that Saïx thought that he was a clown, and cookies.

"It's for a pastry chef program, alright?"

Demyx gaped for a second before he reached his hand to point at Axel and let out a laugh.

"Well, look at you, Mr. I'm-offended-cause-Lord-Blue-Blood-thinks-so-little-of-me-and-even-dared-to-gasp-suggest-a-career-change-when-I-have-it-so-good-here-taking-care-of-everyone-while-my-life-passes-me-by-while-I-do-nothing-for-myself-which-is-something-my-good-friend-Demyx-always-has-said-to-me!" He stopped to take a deep breath. "So you finally decided to get your head partially out of your ass. That is good news." Demyx nodded in agreement with himself. "That's actually pretty darn good news. I'm so happy for you that'll I just step out right away and post this before your head gets sucked back in."

"Oh, shut up already." Axel leaned back into his squeaky chair with a small smile on his lips.

"I'll just throw this in to the yellow mailbox then," Demyx said with feigned hurt as he opened the door with a high shrug.

"The blue mailbox!"

"Hello there, madam." Demyx pretended to lift his imaginary hat in the direction of the overdressed lady who passed him by in the narrow hallway right before he made a right turn and left Axel to worry about whether Demyx would put the envelope into the right mailbox.

"I hope I'm not late." The overdressed lady put her exotic green hat away as she sat down across from Axel. She reached into her purse for a cigarette and a fashionable cigarette holder. "It was a nightmare to get here. The roads are even in worse condition than I remember them to be. I had to get off the horse cab a few blocks away and there were no tramcars either. A real nightmare, goodness me."

"Mariam?" Axel stared with a half-open mouth at Saïx's mother who had just found her lighter and balanced the mouth of the cigarette holder between her lips.

"Yes, Mr. Blueberry man. It is I. How very nice of you to remember me, especially since we only met once and then I was somehow not invited over anymore. But we're not here to talk about me." She flashed him a quick smile.

"I- I'm sorry, but I have a meeting soon, and I can't cancel it with such short notice, so I'm gonna have to ask you to–"

"A meeting with whom, dearest? With Mrs. Qua'en, perhaps? I wasn't sure what policies you had about meetings with people such as me, so I preferred to be safe than sorry and made up a little lie. You're fine. I'm your two o'clock."

Axel nodded slowly. She looked out of place in this confined and messy office. She made all the faults glaringly obvious with her glamorous outfit, and Axel wondered how she had dared to walk here looking like that.

"Mr. Blueberry man…" Mariam began.

"Axel," he interrupted. "It's Axel."

"Mr. Axel…"

"No. Axel. Just Axel."

She rolled her eyes discreetly as she slowly took a puff from her cigarette before she exhaled the smoke.

"Well, Axel, I want to start off by saying that I don't usually meddle in my son's relationships. Sure, I might have done it once or twice, but it's been a while now. Anyway, I heard that you two were broken up over some silly mistake."

"He wanted to deny the application of one of my students on false grounds." Axel frowned at Mariam's dismissal of the unfair action Saïx had tried to get away with.

"I heard," she said in a soft voice and shook the ash away from the tip of her cigarette onto a small ashtray that she had taken out of her purse. "I heard of what had happened and that is why I'm here, Axel. I feel partially responsible for this, and while I can't technically be held responsible for what my grown-up son decides to do, I still think that you should know why he did what he did."

"What do you mean?"

"As you may know, Saïx doesn't get along with his father for various reasons that would take too long to explain."

"I'd like to think that I have a good idea why they don't get along."

"Oh?" Mariam seemed surprised.

"Well, he told me about the scar…"

"Really?" Mariam sat back in the plastic chair, uncertain of how to continue the conversation. She looked back at Axel with her deep-blue eyes shrouded with curiosity. "Have you seen this ridiculous cookie jar that he tends to hide? It has hearts on it and it's kind of big and impractical. It's a set of two."

"Yeah, I've seen them." He smiled and looked away sheepishly. "He was reaching for it the first time we met. He was in the teacher's lounge and he had put the cookie jar too high up on the shelf, and I figured I should help him…" he stopped himself when Mariam raised her eyebrows slightly, putting her hand over her mouth to hide her awe. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just that Saïx is very careful with his cookie jar, and he's easily embarrassed by it as well, which is why he hides it. You see, his father bought him that set quite some time ago when he was on leave. Saïx has always been somewhat of a bookworm, a bit unsocial, and his father wanted him to expand his views a bit, to gain new interests. His father was interested in traditional art and there was a small cultural organization that was holding an art competition at the time. They signed up, and they spent five days talking and deciding what to draw on the porcelain jars. Sadly, Xalbador was called back before they got around to finish them, so Saïx drew the hearts on both of them and submitted them as his competition entry."

"Xalbador?"

Mariam smiled gently and put her cigarette holder away.

"I'm sorry. I should have started on that end. Xalbador is Saïx's father, and Xion is his half-sister. Xalbador got remarried with one of the Mapu tribe's shamans soon after our divorce , I'm sure you've met her. Delightful woman." Mariam's smile grew a little sterner. "Saïx didn't deal with our divorce very well for various reasons…"

"Y-yeah, he mentioned his father's slip-ups. He just failed to mention names."

Looking back on it, there had been subtle hints. Very subtle. Almost non-existent, he decided as he thought about it, and yet he felt like the ultimate jackass when he remembered the toads that had jumped out of his mouth that evening when he had gone to Saïx's house for an explanation.

"Well, he doesn't want to admit that he was hurt by his father's actions. He would much rather stuff himself with those awful blueberry cookies. They are worse than bread with raisins. You didn't hear this from me, but he gets that from his father. Over-indulgence. The poor child didn't have a fighting chance."

Axel nodded slowly. "Did, did he send you here in hope to clear things up, or…?"

"Send me?" Mariam giggled behind her gloved hand and leaned forward slightly. "Oh, sweetheart, he doesn't ask me for favors. He says that it's the doorway for me to take control over his life, but I'm sure you're already acquainted with my son's over-dramatic side. I'm here because he didn't go to the family gathering last week. Xalbador had managed to convince the majority of the family to let Xion attend, his wife conveniently contracted a headache so awful that she couldn't attend, poor thing, but yes, Xion went. I thought that she would sit quietly in her corner of the table, which she mostly did, but she seemed happy to be there."

"I don't think I understand. You're here because he didn't go to a family gathering?"

"It was the straw that broke the camel's back. You see, Axel, I quickly grow accustomed to certain things, like my son writing me letters, or getting in touch with me more than once a year. A couple of weeks ago he asked me for the name and address of the tailor that made his graduation suit."

She paused, her hands frozen in the air and her eyes wide to let her feelings of surprise come across.

"I haven't heard from him in little over a month, now. I'm worried. You're the only one he'll speak to. I'm not asking you to forgive and forget, but if you could go to him and make sure that he's not swallowing cakes whole – if he's cut his hair, than that's fine, he was starting to look a bit like a savage anyway. That said with all due respect, of course." She reached for cigarette holder and smiled politely at Axel who smiled back sternly.

"I'll see what I can do."

"You are a doll! I'll leave my business card here. Send me a letter, or you could come by if you want. Now that you got that girl into Lumineux High, I'm sure there are many who would like to offer you a better position. You can call me about dates and time, and I'll throw together a small dinner party for you to mingle with associates of mine."

"But…!"

"No buts, Axel. When has a dinner party ever killed anyone? I'll be expecting your call. Don't be a stranger, now."

Mariam put her hat back on and hurried out of his office quicker than he could react.

Now that Axel knew that he had gotten to know Saïx's father and his mother, it felt that everything about Saïx made sense.

**~ooo~**

It hadn't occurred to him until he walked down the familiar road through the picturesque neighborhood that Mariam might not be the selfish and nagging mother she had made herself out to be. Maybe she was out for vengeance. Axel was indirectly responsible for Saïx's resignation, and maybe she was under the impression that Axel was behind their break-up, and he didn't even dare to think of all the other reasons she would have to feel like she should be avenging her son.

This thought wouldn't have occurred to him if it hadn't been for all the people out on their yards, looking at him through their bushes and low fences when he walked down the main road toward Saïx's house.

It took longer than he remembered to get there. Maybe Saïx had changed everything about his house to make it even more difficult to find without a house number, but then he arrived and it all looked the same from the front. The crooked mailbox, the tiled path up to the front door, and the green grass surrounding it, it was all the same.

A small squeaky meow caught Axel's attention and he saw a small kitten hurry toward him. The kitten's fur was a dirty white with dark socks, dark ears, and light blue eyes.

She had a collar around her neck, but Axel couldn't read what it said on it as the kitten zigzagged between his legs.

"Hey, you. You're new here." He reached down to pet her, but she hurried back to where she had been sitting next to a bottle of milk, and she nudged the bottle with her head until the tipped it over. She meowed again when the spilled milk on the floor spread, and she backed away from it slowly to not get her paws wet.

"What are you doing?" Axel sighed and put the bottle in place. He picked up the kitten and turned to knock on the front door only to see that it stood ajar.

Vengeance or not, he needed to talk to Saïx, and hopefully they'd find a way to get over this. As much as Saïx's actions had hurt him and their relationship, he wanted to fix it. Mariam's visit the other day had made him think about this more than he had during this past month. His friends, Demyx especially, had told him to either get over it or do something about it, and as he weighed his hurt with the feelings that still burned strong for Saïx, he realized that he was still in love and it wasn't something he wanted to change.

He just hoped that Saïx would be able to handle it and not run away when he tried to talk to him.

Saïx stood in the kitchen by the oven, pulling out something that had a strange and pasty smell. He was wearing a pair of soft pants and a big T-shirt. He had put his hair up in a ponytail, and he had hairpins to keep his bangs out f his face.

The kitten in Axel's embrace let out a bored meow and tossed about until Axel put her back onto the floor.

"Just a second. I have to put this in a safe place first."

Saïx turned around, holding his cookie jar with obvious fractures in oven mittens. His eyes grew wide and he held back a scream when he saw Axel stand there. The cookie jar slipped out of his grip, and as Axel prepared to hear it crash, Saïx dove after it and kept it from hitting the ground and breaking once more.

"That was close," he mumbled and walked into the living room and put the warm cookie jar on top of a potholder that he had put on the table. He took a moment to take off his oven mittens before he turned to face Axel again.

"Hey," Axel managed to say finally.

"Hey."

Axel took a deep breath. They had been many things these past months, but this was their first falling out, and this awkwardness between them strengthen his determination to put an end to it so that they could move forward, preferably together.

"What happened with the cookie jar?"

"It broke. I was careless and dropped it, so I tried to fix it. It doesn't look that bad, does it?"

"No. It looks good. A bit different from before, but good." He blinked slowly when he found himself staring. "Sorry for scaring you. The door stood open. You should really stop doing that. You don't have to lock the door, but close it at least. You know what they say, open door's an invitation. Anyone could've come in here."

"Yeah, but you're the only one stupid enough to walk in here again after everything that has happened."

"Hey, I'm here because you've apparently cut ties with everyone this past month. I was worried and decided to pop by to see if you were alive and kicking!" He paused when he heard himself raise his voice. "And you've got a cat," he said and pointed at the kitten to change the subject while he tried to keep calm.

"Someone dropped her off at my door a few weeks ago, I couldn't just leave her hanging." Saïx had his arms resting on his hips, and he tried not to frown.

"Look, I'm going to be honest with you. Please be honest with me...Saïx!"

Saïx walked out onto his porch and continued to his small garden outside without as much as a word. He sat propped up against the house wall when Axel walked out with a questioning look.

"What the hell?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

What "it" was, Axel didn't want to know. He sat down next to Saïx on the wooden boxes that Saïx had put together to improvise a bench, and he sighed, looking at his hands before he decided to continue.

"Mr. Madhava is your dad."

"So?"

"So? So why didn't you say anything? You didn't have to share your life story with me, if that's what bothered you, but you could've at least said that you couldn't help with the application or something, instead of suffering in silence or whatever."

"First of all, I didn't know that I would have to deal with him, I didn't find out until much later that it was his daughter you wanted to get into Lumineux High, and second of all, I didn't suffer in silence. Nothing that man does causes me suffering."

"What do you mean you didn't know? Didn't you read through her papers? Her name's on every one of them."

"I didn't read them thoroughly!" He said with exasperation. "Alright? You wanted her to get into my school, and I thought fine, I'll get her into my school as long as she passed a few tests so that she would at least get into a class with people she had already gotten to know. Her name didn't matter. I'm not good with names."

Axel sat gaping for a few seconds, contemplating what all of this meant. Truth to be told, he liked his conclusions very much.

"So…are you saying that you were doing it for me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. It was a stupid thing to do, and I've made nothing but bad life choices since the second I met you."

Axel reached for Saïx's hands when he looked away again, and he had to smile at the feeling of Saïx's hands in his. The silence between them now didn't hold a trace of the awkwardness from before. It helped taking Saïx by surprise, he was much easier to deal with when he hadn't been given time to reinforce his walls.

Maybe a push of surprise did Saïx some good.

He chuckled.

"You wanna hear something funny?" he asked when Saïx looked at him with the slightest glint of curiosity in his eyes.

"Sure."

"I love you."

Saïx's mouth fell open slightly and he took a deep breath which he held in as if he wanted to use it to say something, but stifled croaks was all that came out as he stared back at Axel with eyes wide.

"That's not funny at all," he said finally with a small gulp.

Axel leaned in closer with a grin, trying to hold his laughter in at the genuinely cheated look on Saïx's face. He placed a soft kiss at the side of his mouth before he sat back, Saïx's hands still in his.

"I know that we make an odd pair. We're both a bit messed up, we're at a questionable place in our lives, but if there's anything that I've learned this month away from you, it's that I really love you. This is not a fling for me, you're not just a friend with benefits, although we can be if you want to. If you're not ready for something serious, I mean. You look pale. Are you alright?"

"I haven't changed, Axel." Saïx said instead of answering the question. "I don't want to talk to my father or anyone in his new family. I'm still bad at communicating – I'll probably keep the door ajar even if it bothers you. My working hours are all over the place. I think Zexion's goal in life was to become my boss." Saïx stopped to look over his mental list of why Axel was making a mistake. "I have a cat. That's a great responsibility."

Axel couldn't hold his laughter in anymore. He was shaking already, and the disapproving look Saïx shot him didn't even bother him as he ran his arms around himself while he laughed out loud.

"You're laughing now, just you wait when you wake up one morning and realize that I was big mistake, but by then it'll be too late because you'll already be mad."

"You know what?" Axel wiped his tears away. "For someone who doesn't talk much, you say an awful lot of nonsense. If you don't want to talk to a certain portion of your family, that's fine. I won't meddle. I know that you'll deal with it when you're ready, and you know that if you step out of line I'll let you know. My only question for you now is: do you want to go steady with me?"

"Geez…" he smiled, but looked away to hide the faint blush on his cheeks.

"Want to be my boyfriend?" Axel asked in sing-song and leaned in to embrace Saïx when he refused to look back at him.

"How do you not just die out of embarrassment?" Saïx shifted slightly when Axel nuzzled his neck.

"I'm immortal, embarrassment has nothing on me."

An old man from the other side of the high bushes and low fences, cleared his throat loudly and peeked through the bushes. "Immortal or not, you lot better take it inside or I'll be the one to die out of embarrassment. Don't think I'll hesitate to file a complaint to the housing association, Saïx. This is strike two."

"Sorry, Mr. Smith."

"Strike two?" Axel quickly asked as Saïx led him in through the porch and into the living room.

"Mr. Whiskers have gone over to Mr. Smith's yard when nature calls and she knocks his milk bottles down."

"You did not name your cat Mr. Whiskers."

"I panicked. Suddenly she was there and I didn't know if she was hurt, and when I took her to the veterinary she needed a name and an insurance. Mr. Whiskers was all I could think of." He sighed. "Want to hear something sad?"

"What?" Axel quickly glanced over at Mr. Whiskers and hoped that there was nothing wrong with her. Saïx seemed prone to emotionally attach himself to animals, and having such a sweet and cute creature with a disease promised nothing good.

"I love you too."

"That's just mean. I was ready to hear some bad news about Mr. Whiskers." A smile slowly crept onto his face as he pulled Saïx closer to him.

"Don't teach me tricks you can't handle."

"Does this mean that we're going steady?"

Saïx nodded when Axel leaned in for a kiss. There was a faint taste of blueberries on his lips, and while it was a taste he enjoyed, he had to stand back and glance questioningly at Saïx.

"What?"

"Did you know I was coming today?"

Saïx sighed. "I might have been slightly aware that you might be showing up. I didn't think you'd show up today, but, y'know…"

"Your mother."

"My mother," Saïx agreed with a slow nod.

Say what you will about Mariam, but she still looked after her son in her own, scheming ways. Axel would probably do best admiring her from afar to not cross her.

He licked his lips absentmindedly at the lingering taste of blueberries on his tongue, and he suddenly snapped out of it as he remembered the most important thing to have happened during their month apart.

"Wanna hear something awesome?"

"Axel, please. I can't deal with anymore of your 'wanna hear something' shenanigans." Saïx turned to walk back out to the garden again, but Axel followed him with a chuckle.

"You'll love this!" Axel said, reaching out for Saïx's arm.

"Hey, you two!" came Mr. Smith's immediate protest.

"I'm going to culinary school to become a pastry chef, and it looks like I'll be granted a scholarship."

"What?" Saïx breathed and seemed to hear Axel's news again when he ran his arms around him to give him a tight hug.

"I thought I told you lot to take it inside!"

"Shut up, Mr. Smith! You're ruining our moment." Saïx turned on them to shoot Mr. Smith a glare. The middle-aged man stuttered for a few seconds before he decided to move along.

"How are you going to do with everything else? Are you going to stay at Terne High?"

"I'm gonna work part-time, study, and who knows, maybe get a pastry shop up and running by the end of the year?"

The excitement and glee in Saïx's eyes reflected what he felt at the thought of what this year held for him. It wasn't until he stepped out of his comfort zone that he realized that he had lived a sheltered life, frightened by the possibilities that lay ahead outside the small corner that had been his world. His new life was going to be tough and challenging, but he counted on Saïx being there every step of the way.

**~ooo~**

**One year later…**

**~ooo~**

"Come on, then! This way!" Axel stopped to wait for the group of teenagers to catch up, but they all seemed busy showing Roxas and Naminé every novelty they came across.

"Oh, there's a shop on Cinnamon Boulevard with nothing but material for drawing and painting." Xion had been chatting a lot and pointed at different buildings that led to a cacophony of a conversation when Sora, Hayner and Xion competed to be the one to say everything of importance first. Riku would try talk over them to calm them down, but Roxas would join in as soon as he heard something he had learned too. Naminé would just laugh at them and wait for Axel to tell them to keep it down.

"Hey, how about we get to my shop first, eat something and then we can go out on a sightseeing tour." Axel tapped his foot impatiently.

"Sorry!"

They turned one final corner to get to Raspberry Street where Axel's pastry shop stood ready for the opening ceremony next week.

"Wow!"

The pastry shop was located in a two-story, white-bricked building. The double-door in polished mahogany stood between the large shopping windows where passersby could look inside. Axel had yet to hang up the sign above the door with the name of his pastry shop. Saïx had told him to prioritize the curtains if he was running low on time before he had to go and pick up the teenagers.

"Are you sure this is yours?" Roxas asked with an awestruck face.

"Of course I'm sure. I've been working like a horse. Blood, sweat and tears have gone into this, kids. Nothing in life comes for free."

"Ew, gross." Naminé said with a giggle.

"Yeah, Axel." Sora agreed with a shake of his head as he led the group to the door of the pastry shop and pushed the door open to the sound of a bell going off.

"We're gonna eat, man. Keep your blood and sweat to yourself." Hayner said with a crooked grin right before he stepped inside, holding the door open for Axel.

The inside of the pastry shop was warm and inviting with art decorating the creamy white-colored walls. There were tables for parties of a varying number, from two to six, but for this occasion, Axel had prepared a long-table in the middle of the room.

Roxas walked up to his seat and looked at the chair and then at Axel with an incredulous look.

"Have you won the lottery?"

"No," Axel laughed and hurried behind to counter to get lunch started. Saïx had prepared the food for him, all he had to do was to heat it up.

"Liar," Xion said as she sat down across from Roxas. "These chairs must've cost you a fortune."

"I could fall asleep here," Naminé said and leaned her head back against the back-support of the chair.

"An investor got them for me." Axel said with a smile. "Hey, before you get comfortable, could you set the table? I forgot to do it before I left."

Xion hurried up to Axel while the others went for the cutlery that had been put forward on a table next to theirs.

She had grown and become more of a woman this past year. It had been strange to see. The Xion he knew had been this small and seemingly defenseless girl who had been frightened by almost everything around her. They had both changed while they got adjusted to their new lives.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Did he like the cat?"

Axel looked up from the fourth plate he was dishing up with a surprised look.

"What do you mean? How do you know…?"

Xion smiled softly and played with the cuff of her sleeve absentmindedly as she leaned against the counter. "Did he like the cat?" she asked again.

"Yeah…yeah, he liked the cat. He named her Mr. Whiskers, and, yeah…she's the queen of the house. She has a thing against milk bottles though. She always has to tip them over."

"Great." Xion sighed with relief. "Axel, don't tell him. Please?"

"I, I won't."

He looked after Xion, his mouth hanging open, when she hurried back to the table to help with setting the table. Axel wasn't one to take credit for others work, but he liked to think that he had played an important role in Xion's upbringing, and the person he had seen her evolve into made his heart swell with pride.

"Axel! We're starving!" Roxas called from the table.

"Remember that you had us walking through half the city," Sora added.

"Even though we could've taken a tramcar over here," Riku said with a not so subtle glance at Hayner.

"I thought that if we were going to stuff our faces with cake, we might as well get our metabolism working. I have soccer practice later this evening," Hayner explained with a pout.

"Hang on a sec…" Axel put the plates on a small trolley and pushed it forward.

"You haven't told us what your shop is called." Naminé looked up at Axel from where she sat next to Xion.

"Yeah, how are we supposed to promote you if we don't know the name of your place?" Roxas asked and reached for his plate.

Axel smiled proudly and stood up straight to announce the name of his pastry shop.

"It's called 'Broken Cookie Jars'."

**The End**


End file.
